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Smollettri38's Journal

 
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26 December 2014

I have gotten way off track with this site YET again. I need to be more proactive and make this my home. Perhaps I should make this my homepage so that whenever I open my browser I come here. Hmm, not a bad idea really. I am so off my eating plan, but I did go shopping today and I did not buy bad food. I actually made better choices for myself than I originally went to the store with what was on my list.

I am so glad the end of the month/year is coming, as I am looking to buy a few things on payday and of course, it is also nice to get a raise from the gov't (if you can call it a raise when they lower food stamps at the same time).

I am trying to change a lot of things in a short amount of time, but I should be looking to try to change one thing at a time. I am making smarter choices as I go along. When one thing doesn't work out, I make a smarter choice, and it seems to help. For instance, last week, when I went shopping, I bought a bunch of granola bars and sandwich cracker packs for snacks to bring to my day program. I didn't even make it to my day program before I pigged out on all of them. I ate the entire two boxes of granola bars (the fudge-dipped ones no less) in one sitting. Never again. So this time when I went shopping, I picked up a bunch of the 100 calorie Nabisco snack packs. I WILL NOT binge on those, I KNOW I won't. I will take those TO my day program, I will not open them until then.

I am going to start tomorrow getting back into the swing of things with exercise. I was doing well for a while getting up early and exercising, but that fell to the waist side shortly after I got my last menstrual cycle. The joys of being a woman! I am awaiting my next menstrual cycle which should be coming any day now, and I am hoping I can use it as a spring loader into action instead of a big flop onto the couch. I feel we all need to find Eve wherever her bones are buried and slap her silly for eating that fruit. She's the one who did this to us!

So tomorrow, back in the saddle again. And boy is it gonna be a bumpy ride. Must be on a camel because them things are really uncomfortable to ride, I'm told. Either way, let's hope it has more than one hump so we can all ride it together, shall we? :)

16 December 2014

I found once I was able to address the issue as to why I was overeating, I no longer felt I needed to overeat. Today I practically had to force myself to eat because I really did not feel like it, and once I did, I felt like, bleh. I did not eat a very appetizing meal, which it did not occur to me to do so likewise. I ate for the sake of needing to eat, because my body needed the nourishment, that was it. I did not eat for the sake of eating. It felt odd this way, as my thought processes change concerning food. I am now keeping all snack food out of my house, and that does help, but there is another conceptual part to it as well, almost like I am telling myself that stuff no longer matters to me anymore. If I brought it into the house, I am sure there would be consequences, since that would be the first thing I would reach for, out of habit. But without it being there, the old addage out of sight, out of mind, really does work. I have no desire to eat junk food right now, and those Asian pears in my fridge are actually calling my name right now. It seems odd how our senses can change to fit our needs when we need them to.

15 December 2014

Weigh-in: 324.8 lb lost so far: 1.2 lb still to go: 124.8 lb Diet followed poorly
   (1 comment) gaining 0.2 lb a week

12 December 2014

I noticed today I had a bit too much cheese, which I did not measure out, so I was kind of eyeballing it, and I probably actually had more than I recorded, so I crossed it off my shopping list for tonight. I am going to make SMART choices when it comes to things like that. If I see myself eating too much of something, it comes off the list. I was buying it in bulk, big 8 cup bags of it from the grocery store, and making grilled quesadillas with them (a flour tortilla with cheese basically) on the George Foreman Grill. But that has to stop, because I was not measuring out the cheese, and looking at the food log, the cheese is mostly fat. Fat! That's it! It can't really even be counted as calcium, the fat drowns that out. So, no more cheese. If I was cheese, I will stick to Laughing Cow. However, this week it is not on the food menu, hence, I am not buying any. I need a break from any sort of cheese. I do not think cheese is actually a trigger food for me, it's just one of those foods that is easy to forget to weigh and measure, so naturally you end up using more of it. I will remember that little habitual lie I tell myself is okay to do next time and remember to tell the snake, "Get thee behind me, Satan, and don't push!"

12 December 2014

I am starting to notice subtle changes in my body since I started exercising that I have never felt before. Since I have never been much of an exerciser, this is the first time I have really experienced these changes, such as my bum getting firmer, and my breasts getting plumper and more fuller, and my legs getting stronger and not hurting as I go up and down stairs.I didn't start noticing it until the other day when I actually put on my bra and noticed I filled it out more. What a neat feeling. Sorry if I sound like I am sounding too personal, but it's like, Wow, what an eye-opener! Makes me want to continue exercising just so I can keep noticing what other changes I can continue to see happen. The exercising is sometimes fun too, whether it is by myself or with a group, which I sometimes do, and in truth, many times it makes me want to eat better and not pig out, which is my usual intentions, or used to be anyway. I weigh in every Monday, and I cannot wait till Mondays now to see how I come along in my progress. This week has been phenomenal. I indulged a little with a cookie and a brownie, but I do not regret it because I limited myself and I did not have more than that. And I drank a lot of water besides that. I wish FS had a way to track water as well as it does everything else. I am so revved up with everything I am doing, I feel like a million bucks. I am so happy, and I owe it all to my God Jehovah. He is truly great and has blessed me greatly. I cannot thank him enough. I could write a book here, but I am afraid some people will not read it, so I will cut this short and say thank you to all who support me. Please be my buddy. God bless.

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