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Weight History
showing entries 6 to 7 of 7
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21 February 2014
Every time I start a new weight loss application or attempt to embark on a new weight loss journey, I always fail within the first day. I try to up my calorie intake so that I don't feel like I'm starving the whole time, but it still doesn't work. My body refuses to live on a calorie deficit of any kind anymore. In fact, I'm continuing to gain weight steadily, much to my dismay.
Two years ago, I crash dieted and managed to shed off 20 pounds in 10 weeks by eating around 700-800 calories a day. However, ever since I stopped, I started binge eating for the first year and haven't been able to control my calorie intake. I was down to 136 pounds at 5'6, and now I've steadily gotten myself back up to 149. I'm afraid that I will gain back everything that I lost and get myself back up to 158 (my starting point at the beginning of my crash diet). I desperately want to be at 120 pounds (or a little heavier if I am fit/athletic), but right now it seems so unachievable.
I've been watching the Biggest Loser because I find it extremely inspirational. However, I can't help but feel like a failure in comparison to them. They're shedding off hundreds of pounds, but here I am--whining about the hardship of losing just 20 pounds and not being able to start a diet to lose just 30 pounds (from current weight to goal weight). I don't know if I'm just stuck at a mental roadblock or if my body is just destined to be around 150 forever. Or maybe I am just so traumatized by the experience of the crash diet (I became moody, had hair loss, and was cold 24/7) that I'm scared to start dieting again.
I'm hoping that this time will be different.
I want to try starting by eating around 1400 or 1600 calories a day because that seems like a reasonable number. The only problem with that is knowing myself, I will become extremely impatient and bored and eventually binge because I'm not seeing results fast enough. I should train myself to become more patient. Because honestly, with the rate I'm going, I'll never get anywhere. Even if eating 1400-1600 calories/day will be a super slow weight loss, it's better than gaining weight or not getting anywhere at all.
(1 comment)
21 February 2014
Weigh-in:
149.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
29.0 lb
Diet followed N/A
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