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Weight History
showing entries 1 to 2 of 2
19 January 2016
Its days like today that I search for hours on end to find a quick fix, to find an answer or some form of god above who can fix my problems. Its days like today I start a new project or plan to get my ass into gear and sort it all out....
I have always struggled with weight, funny thing is im not fat. I am just very tall and "big boned". I can wear a bikini quite happily, I can wear tight clothes and it look flattering,I can genuinely believe people when they say im not fat. Just bigger.
But you see it goes alot deeper than that. I binge eat. When I get very sad and emotional or bored I binge. I use food as a way to connect with people, I use it as a distraction to other issues in my life. I use food to make kme feel not so.... "empty".
I have always dreamed about being that tall skinny girl, that girl with the killer long legs, with the slim stomach and toned ass. I think about it constantly and it never leaves my mind. I look in windows at my reflection, I stare long and hard at the mirror until my mind only sees imperfections.... then I start my search.
I stick at it for about a week, then give in to a packet of biscuts or pizza or fastfood...
I will eat and eat until a day comes along that is a good number.. an even number, the start of a week, of the month or something that is good. Then I start again, which is what leads me to this site. I stumbled across it while looking at the calories of certain foods i had eaten this morning..
Today I begin again.
Its a wednesday, its the 19th.... today is nothing good, nothing special. but I am not waiting, I am starting.
That must mean something.
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19 January 2016
Weigh-in:
231.5 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
77.2 lb
Diet followed N/A
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