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25 June 2008

I am still having issues..the problem is I have gotten used to eating more calories per meal..and I still feel hungry after eating the planned amount.
I always still want something sweet after the meal.
I also have definitly gotten used to higher fat than I used to eat. I need to cut back on that somewhat.
I had a small brownie and a little ice cream for breakfast(i swear its not me its TOM!!), oh yes, no joke, with fiber one on top to turn it healthy, ha ha.
Ate 3 tbs pb with graham cracker and marshmellows for lunch dessert. I have already had too many calories for the time of day it is, but I haven't blown it..yet. I did walk today and did a 20 minute kickboxing routine. Maybe I can squeeze in another workout this afternoon(if I do can I have another brownie for dinner?? no..no..BAD KARLA!! LOL!)
just kidding, I sent the rest of the naughty brownies to work with Brandon. Good thing too..now I just need to hide the pb jar from myself..rrr.
I won't have any more out of control calorie crazies if I can help it, it makes me feel like crap about myself, and I'm sick of the scale jumps. Send me some love and motivation ya'll, I am still one jar of pb away from disaster! I can do this, I know it. It seems like as soon as I start thinking, "ok, I need to have THIS for my next meal and THIS amount of calories today," my body and mind say Uh-UH girl, you ware eating a BROWNIE not oatmeal, you are having peanut butter and jelly, not a salad! And doesn't ice cream sound better than fruit?? Dairy queen is only a block away..
I know it sounds like I've gone off the deep end, but I just am struggling to get my mind in the right place. I have to quit depending on food so heavily to get mye through the stress and boredom of the day. I think I like the FEELING sugar items and peanut butter(fatty things) give me as much as the taste. It's the escape I am going for many times. I just need to find other ways to unwind and "get happy". Exercising this morning was difficult, but I definitely felt better afterwards. Getting back on exercising is so hard. I feel like my spine is so stiff and my muscles have all turned to jello. I know it will get easier. I just have to work back up to where I was, I know I will feel better.
Well, have a good day all, thanks for listening to the ravings of a mad peanut butter fiend..:)

24 June 2008

23 June 2008

22 June 2008

22 June 2008

Weigh-in: 121.4 lb lost so far: 16.6 lb still to go: 1.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 1.4 lb a week

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