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Weight History
showing entries 1 to 5 of 50
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10 February 2014
It has been a long time since I thought about losing weight and getting healthy.
I originally set goals to lose weight by the time I studied abroad in Spain. I left for Europe not even being close to my goal. I then decided to study abroad again, this time in Mexico, and I set another goal, yet changed nothing. Now, I have more trips (spring break in Orlando) and important events (college graduation) planned and I'm trying again.
A lot of the time I feel like I should give up, because I enjoy eating and I don't like cutting things out and I'm really not incredibly unhappy with my body (though that depends on the day you ask me), because although I know I am a bit overweight, I have a good hourglass shape and I've been learning how to dress myself to accentuate that shape and feel better about how I look. I do think I would be more attractive if I lost weight (I think that sounds vain or stupid to say, but I think it's true--though I don't consider myself to be attractive at all) and I think I would be happier and have a higher self-esteem, though, which is why I really want to push through it and keep trying. I also worry about health problems, because fat runs rampant in my family and we have diseases galore.
I've always dreamed about losing weight and being thin, because I have been overweight my entire life. Around 2 years ago I did try to lost weight, and I ended up losing around 30 pounds, but I have since gained back around 15. I'm currently around 185 pounds. I know with my height (5 foot 1), I really need to be around 130. (Actually less than that, but I thought that was a realistic, attainable number for me)SO that means I have 55 lbs to lose.
This past weekend some of my family, family friends and I went to a cabin rental up north for a winter wonderland getaway. One of the people there, it was immediately obvious that one of the family friends had lost a good deal of weight, even though he had never really had an issue with his weight. He said he had lost a ton of weight without really trying that hard; all he had to do was change his mindset and tell himself that he needed less food to eat. He then was able to control his eating and thinking so that he didn't need to eat much at all, and started just eating to make sure he didn't keep losing so much weight. He lost around 25 pounds with little effort; he doesn't do much exercise other than playing soccer on weekends.
I just get jealous, because I have so many problems with food. I emotionally eat, I eat because I'm bored, I eat because I love food, I eat because it sometimes fills the emptiness and loneliness. Trying to tell myself that I need to eat less is like telling myself I need to stop doing the thing that has "solved my problems" in the past. I've been snacking and overeating and just doing everything wrong. I've tried portion control and exercising for an hour daily, and it worked for a while, and then it stopped working, and it's been a struggle to stay motivated since then. And then I compare myself with this family friend who lost weight without trying.
I'm trying to take this family friend's story and use it as my motivation. I just am so bad about portion control though, and I constantly feel hungry. How am I supposed to change my mind about how much I need to eat? I don't know, but I want to try. I really want to try again. I want to count calories and eat better and start going to the gym again. I'm tired of failing and being miserable about my weight, and I want people to notice a difference in me. I want to be happy with who I am.
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10 February 2014
Weigh-in:
185.0 lb
lost so far:
0 lb
still to go:
55.0 lb
Diet followed N/A
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gaining 0.5 lb a week
18 June 2013
Weigh-in:
169.6 lb
lost so far:
15.4 lb
still to go:
39.6 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 0.4 lb a week
11 June 2013
Studied abroad in Spain for 4 months and stopped caring about diet and exercise.... starting over...
Weigh-in:
170.0 lb
lost so far:
15.0 lb
still to go:
40.0 lb
Diet followed poorly
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gaining 0.3 lb a week
12 December 2012
Weigh-in:
162.4 lb
lost so far:
22.6 lb
still to go:
32.4 lb
Diet followed reasonably well
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losing 0.0 lb a week
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