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18 June 2010

22 March 2010

01 March 2010

BARF BARF BARF not sure what my prob is. Although I did start to eat this 469 calorie bag of snacks and then freaked out and crushed them and poured them into the trash and was sort of proud, so there may be hope for me, through psychotic wasteful food destruction.

February is the hardest month for me, every single year of my entire life. It is when I have the hardest time with eating. I haven't had a binge since last April. I put myself through psychological boot camp to get over my eating issues last spring and in the last month I've felt old senseless binge urges come up and it's so scary and hard to control and I have had some indulgences that have made me uncomfortable. So far nothing too terrible has happened but I wish there was something I could do that would make me feel certain I'll never do that again. I'm still close to the knowledge that I would be so devastated if I did, though. So I'm pretty sure I won't.
Weigh-in: 148.6 lb lost so far: 1.4 lb still to go: 18.6 lb Diet followed poorly
   add comment gaining 1.0 lb a week

22 February 2010

I've been doing not so great lately but still not that bad. I'm supposed to lose weight at 1800/day but I'm still averaging that and I started gaining back. I don't get exercise consistently but still. I think I have to be down at 1500-1600 to lose anything at all, what a bummer. Oh well, good to know. And maybe I just hit a weird spot with my metabolism or something, plus I started a new birth control, IDK.

I have to eat smaller breakfasts and plan my dinners to stay under 1600 on work days. It's so hard because I'm awake for so long and so stressed and pissed at work all the time and sit next to the snacks at work and have nothing to do for the second half of the day every day. And I can read the calorie counts on the school lunch menus but I don't know if that's for the kids portions or the adult portions and I think they over-serve teachers and staff really bad so I am always terrified that I'm eating around a thousand calories every day for lunch. Lame! And the lunch is so heavy on rice which ALWAYS makes me feel ridiculously hungry a few hours later.

Oh well, I only work a couple of days this week. I would like to lose 4-5 lbs this next month and another 4-5 by my birthday but that's a lot so we'll see how it goes.

13 February 2010

Weigh-in: 146.3 lb lost so far: 3.7 lb still to go: 16.3 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment losing 0.7 lb a week

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