now2011's Journal, 30 October 2011

..but thats probably changed by now!..i ate pure crap this week: burgers fries soda chinese food more burgers & fries..it was not good & i blamed it all on PMS!! i exercised once (oh the shame!)..but i did somr strength!!...i dont know..why am I not focused ?? why am I eating pure crap & I'm excited to have ice cream & a chip later:?? because I can't find any other joy other than food! I get so frustrated being a mom & a mother & a detective & a PA & ALL the other things that moms have to be : I honestly dont know what it is to find joy in a moment - to relax & enjoy life anymore ...I feel lost & alone & food is my solace. food is my therapist, my lover, my companion who will not deny me or reject me ...but it is hurting me & that makes it worse because it has joined the ranks of everyone else i feel: I love you & you hurt me..& it kills..& I still come back for more...so where do I find my solace ? my peace? my comfort?...my mind is screaming : In Prayer In the Lord.
259.8 lb Lost so far: 8.2 lb.    Still to go: 129.8 lb.    Diet followed reasonably well.
losing 1.5 lb a week

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I know how you feel! It seems like all we do lately is think and plan about what the next thing to eat is....it's aggravating. I've come up with a few things that are pretty good. I think the way to do this is to plan a day where you can eat whatever you're craving no matter how bad it is. Just one day a week to start....gotta give yourself that. In the meantime...try to find things that are more bulk so you can eat more of and as long as it's good stuff, you're better off. I'm limiting myself to 100 mg or less of cholesterol a day.....it's soooooo hard! After you get that down....take away one bad day until you're used to that...then do it until you're down to one bad day a month. Maybe it would work for you that way???? I work nights, so when I'm here...I'm willing to chat, too. Mare 
30 Oct 11 by member: maretj65

     
 

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