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I promised myself that I would only record the downs because I weigh myself frequently and I don't need anything else glaring at me to make me lose my motivation. But as it seems, I am, in a sense, starting over again. Because of this downhill stretch of illness my body is in the exact same place it was in Dec/Jan as far as weakness/other symptoms are concerned. Even though I have only gained 2 pounds back, it seems like I am starting all over again with just a different starting point. It has become difficult to eat certain things that i had gotten used to eating because they get stuck now, or I am to weak and woozy to stand that long to cook them.
It's disappointing to say the least. I promised myself I would not be in this place again. It was an empty promise. One I am realizing that I lack a certain level of control that I thought I had.
I can control what I put in my mouth. That hasn't gone completely to the dogs, but I can't control how far my muscles decide to let me travel that day; or the sudden total exhaustion that could only be compared to being shot in the butt with an elephant tranquilizer... It has become apparent that I don't have it all figured out as I thought.
Praying that God will bring me up out of this rut, over this hump both in my weight loss and in my illness.
So here goes: 188 is my "new" start weight.
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188.0 lb
Lost so far: 19.0 lb.
Still to go: 38.0 lb.
Diet followed poorly.
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gaining 1.0 lb a week
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