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I hope I don't have to put something in here every day. This might get pretty depressing. I really don't know how I got to this point. My life is sedentary. I do not exercise at all. My back hurts all the time. When my back went out, which was probably due mostly to the weight gain, everything got more difficult for me. Now I can barely hold my grandbaby for more than five minutes at a time. By summer I want to be down to a manageable size again. I want to be able to walk the length of the mall without having to stop and without hurting so badly that I feel my back is breaking. Once I went on epilepsy meds, I gaines so much and then I just didn't care anymore. Well, I DO care. I hate the way I look and I think I hate myself for getting like this. Told you it would be depressing. I am ashamed to be seen naked in front of my own husband. Not that he's mr atlas either but still. it's embarrassing to be this size. I have rolls and i can't even see my body anymore. if i run into someone i haven't seen in a while, they barely recognize me. I want it to change.
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