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I really need to get back on track.
This year has not been a good year in my journey. Last Thanksgiving, I recorded my record adult low, at 143. At that point I had lost just shy of 30 pounds. My overall goal is about 50 pounds lost, to get my weight somewhere between 120-125. I remember being SO EXCITED Thanksgiving morning, I made sure to take a picture of myself because I looked and felt absolutely amazing. I was incredibly slim, eating clean, and working out on a consistent schedule. I was so happy with myself and so proud of where I had gotten. And then the holidays came an I let myself slip a little bit. My friend who I worked out with 3x a week moved a half hour away, so I feel out of my workout routine, but still maintained with healthy eating for a few months. But then I just stopped. I started eating out more, I stopped logging a lot of what I was consuming. I stopped working out almost altogether. I gained about 20 pounds back, and now I'm about 161. I am having the absolute worst time trying to get back on the wagon. I can honestly say I've been trying for months. Everytime I get on track, I seem to self sabotage, or just fall into a habit of binge eating things that I shouldn't. I have no self control anymore, and I can't seem to just say no to my cravings. I miss feeling confident, and fitting into my clothes, and having a nice muscle tone. I notice my cankles that I had when I was at my highest seem to be coming back, and my face and fingers are getting pudgier again.
This isn't difficult. I have lost weight before. I know exactly what I have to do to achieve my goals. I know the process, and I know being consistent does show results. I just can't seem to make myself do it. I have gotten back into working out, but until I curb my eating habits, I am not going to lose any of the fat that I want gone.
Sorry for the pity party post. I am hoping that I can look back occasionally and remember how crappy I feel right now and maybe I can make some better choices in the future.
Hope everyone is having a good week!
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161.0 lb
Lost so far: 8.0 lb.
Still to go: 11.0 lb.
Diet followed reasonably well.
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Diet Calendar Entries for 04 November 2015:
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1453 kcal
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Fat: 48.77g | Prot: 73.88g | Carb: 188.70g.
Breakfast: Tim Hortons Cafe Mocha (Medium), Bananas. Lunch: Panera Bread Lemon Chicken & Orzo Soup. Dinner: Chipotle Mexican Grill Chips, Chipotle Mexican Grill Chicken, Chipotle Mexican Grill Fresh Tomato Salsa, Chipotle Mexican Grill Lettuce, Chipotle Mexican Grill Cilantro-Lime Brown Rice, Chipotle Mexican Grill Corn Salsa, Chipotle Mexican Grill Sour Cream. Snacks/Other: Quaker Chewy Granola Bars - Chocolate Chip, Watermelon, Honeydew Melons, Cantaloupe Melons. more...
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2582 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Crossfit - 1 hour, Massage - 1 hour, Desk Work - 8 hours, Resting - 6 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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gaining 2.0 lb a week
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 Comments
I feel for you. You know what you need to do - now do it. I suspect everyone on this site has, to some degree, experienced this. For me, I have found that if I can catch the binge early and force myself to go for a walk, that I can beat it. If I get started on the binge, then I fully succumb to it. I have considered typing into this forum when I feel it starting, but haven't tried to see if it works. Good luck - Keep trying. As I tell everyone, just by really trying you are doing more than most of the population; by that logic you are already a success. Don't beat yourself up, build yourself up. Today you are going to do it, today is the start of a new week.
04 Nov 15 by member: mattstoc
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Sometimes you need to just vent about these kinds of issues,I know I have. Let out all your frustrations and start fresh. Don't ever apologize for you feel, just do something about it. You said yourself the actually losing isn't difficult. Sometimes you just need a psychological push to get you where you need to be. I totally believe in you and support you 200% or more.
04 Nov 15 by member: holidaybunny
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Do what I do. Don't buy and don't keep in the house stuff that you shouldn't eat. Instead of eating out go buy yourself a pair of shoes, some cosmetics, a blouse, etc. for the money you would have spent a the restaurant. Manipulate your mind to see the healthy food as treats and something to be desired. I got to the point where if I see any kind of pastries like the ones in the grocery stores, I feel like puking. Pies, ice-cream, donuts, bread of any kind, pasta, even regular pizza, I see them as very disgusting.
04 Nov 15 by member: dayberndt
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Honestly I felt just like you before Halloween. I started to get depressed. I would vent to my trainer every week that I knew WHAT to do, how to workout and WHAT to eat. But I just couldn't get myself to do it! You need to figure out what aspects of your diet could be hindering you. With me I was too restrictive and the mental aspect of my diet was keeping me from seeing any success. My workout was on point, but I kept telling myself... you cant have rice...you cant have potatoes, you cant have bananas yadda yadda yadda. My trainer pointed out that If I keep telling myself I cant I mentally wont be able to handle it. Also he said just focus on real foods. Stop telling yourself you cannot eat potatoes and bananas just because they are starchy. Have them when you need them.
I took his advise. I started cooking new recipes and stopped being overly picky. Now that I am enjoying different meals and recipes. I am not craving candy or cookies on my plan right now. Also I am not over eating because I am feeling satisfied with my meals. Sometimes you need to change it up. When you eat too much of the same or similar thing it can get super boring too. Everyone is different though! This just happened to be my issue.
My trainer gets away with simple meals and tells himself its FUEL and isnt too concerned about taste as much. For me its all about taste and variety.
You will find a way dont worry! And please dont tell yourself you CANT have a banana cause thats just BS :)
04 Nov 15 by member: Panigale1199
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Be patient with yourself - when you are least expecting it that crazy little thing called willpower will come back in to your life. Just be kind to yourself whilst you wait. Good luck.
04 Nov 15 by member: Mamachickpea
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Stephanie, it is harder to get started on the right track than it is to stay there once you get started. 3 years ago I lost 50 pounds and was working out with a personal trainer. Last Summer 2014 she quit and I have been looking for a new trainer ever since. I started drinking beer again and eating anything I wanted and in 18 months i have put back 40 pounds. I found a new gym and a group class and began again on October 19. It is really going well, I have lost 10 pounds in three weeks. I just needed to get started again. Once I get started on program, I plan every meal that I will eat for at least 2 weeks. You have to stick to it, if it is not on your menu, you can't eat it. Think of everything that you eat as nutrition for your body. Ask your self, does my body need this (cookie, chips, beer or whatever) for nutrition or does my mouth want it. Good luck, you know you can do it and you know how to do it because you did it before.
07 Nov 15 by member: hairnet1948
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