g_ortegam's Journal, 29 August 2018

Depression sucks. No nice way to put it lol. Don’t give up on her just yet. One day she will need you and that may be a turn around point for her. Just distance yourself occasionally when she becomes toxic. I’m learning to notice my toxic moods and remove myself from my loved ones until my mood improves. This could be 10 minutes or could be days. It’ll be much easier on you both when she recognizes those moods and can manage them or just be alone until they pass. 

Take care of you, and you can take care of your sister when you can. You are not in charge of her nor will she change for you. Very hard to not feel guilty when you know a better way to live and others won't listen but you don't have to hurt yourself trying to help her! 

Hang in there. One day at a time. You can do it! 

My sister also suffers from depression. I tried to help her and was there for her even though she lives in a different state. I even invited her to stay with me and my family, which was okay for a while. She showed a lot of improvement but eventually regressed when she went back to her husband. It took a while but I had to LET IT GO. I'm at peace with myself that I did all I could for her. Unfortunately, the only way for me to let go was to not have her and her husband in my life. Stay strong and take care of yourself.💗 

you must take care of yourself. When your sister hits bottom all you can do is get her into a facility. That is the best chance of her learning and getting better. There is absolutely nothing you can do at this point. sorry you are going through this, but your health is the most important thing right now. 

You do need to take care of yourself first - I know that is a tough thing but depression is so easy to fall into - if you can help your sister that is great but if you need to focus on keeping yourself in a good place do that first. 

depression can be naturally cured if you wait 20 years but that's boring, the best she can do is get a therapist and maybe in a few years she'll get better. you should probably just tell her to get a therapist and then take care of yourself. 

such a sweet and inspiring lesson for all of us! 

sun zu: if one is depressed, one is living in the past, if one is anxious, one is living in the future, if one is at peace, one is living in the present moment. As you friend, I pray you always live in ☮️ human love  

You have "got this" and are on the best side of the road. Stay in your lane, no looking back, no side roads & you will reach your destination aka life goals. ❤️👏👍 

I'm in the same boat as you and your sister, and can totally relate - you are def not alone!! Not to be trite, but we really do get a handle on how to live healthfully one day at a time. We are here for you 🌹💐 

Praise JESUS Who RESCUES the poor and needy and spiritually lost SOULS... if you simply call to Him only, believing you’re a sinner and believing HE IS the eternal Son of GOD Who died on the cross and rose from the dead and ascended to Heaven again!!! {see Romans 10:9} ♥️✝️🏞 

Oh, hun, I'm sorry to hear about this. You sound like a very loving sister. I agree with others that you need to take care of yourself first. It's like when the airplane safety instructions tell the parents to put on their own mask before their child's. You can't take care of your sister if you're struggling too... I can relate to all of your "knee jerk" reactions for handling stress, but you can resist and be strong. We're here for you! 

it Is NOT selfish and uncaring to make sure that you yourself are in a safe secure situation. People like your sister can easily try to take you down with them. You have come so far— you are on the right roa just keep moving forward. 

As someone who has major depressive disorder and being treated with therapy, meds and exercise I’m a bit surprised at some of the responses. Of course this is the internet and I can’t see your faces or hear your tone so I could be way off here. BUT coming from a family that has depression and alcoholism in it... cutting someone off completely could be quite harmful to both parties especially if both have some level of depression. Deeper depression, guilt, obsession etc. Rather than just writing someone off why not say ‘hey sis I’m stressed and having some health issues right now. Nothing to worry about but I need to decompress and relax for a bit. How about I give you a call next week?’ Every single one of us has issues, nobody is perfect. Why not help each other and take those breaks when necessary? We can also steer our depressed love ones to help by checking out some local counselors, asking them to make a yearly dr appt and offer to drive and coax the person to open up to her dr and maybe get some meds... The world would be a horrible place if we all just gave up on anyone who has issues we don’t want to deal with 😢.  

@peeper yes. At times I do have to distance myself becasue I can easily follow that path. But I’m trying and fighting. I fight everyday to not give up not stress out and not let my demons win. One of the big problems I’m having with the whole situation is that she has two little boys. They literally are everything to me. I don’t have children and I am there for them. I have to be. I feel like no one puts them first and that’s terrifying. So I do everything in my power to do just that. Everyday. Even though I struggle and I want to give up. I keep at it. It’s something I struggle with. Even now after the shittiest day I want to drink but I won’t do it. I have two little ones here with me becasue their mom has fallen off the wagon yet again. No one to put them first but me. It’s these moments where I question how hard I fight and win my little battles and yet she doesn’t  

Our father had major depression. It was something that we grew up around. He commuted suicide two years ago. It’s been such a tough road. I am trying not to give up on her I love her she’s my sister. Im just having a hard time with my personal struggles with this bs disease and alcoholism but she can just do what she wants. It’s selfish and I’m hurt. But I gotta take care of her children and realize she’s going down a path I can’t follow. I won’t give up on her but I’m disappointed  

Hugs to you! And best wishes for peace and happiness 

I'm actually going through a similar situation (less severe objectively, but just as bad personally) right now, and your post helped me. Thank you, good luck, support, and prayers. 

I feel like I'm reading a book of my own life. You are not alone. Stay strong.