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Yesterday I posted a journal entry that was regarding something that was said by another member on someone's journal. This person was talking about themselves, but the comment they made resounded with me because of my personal past and I made a journal regarding that. Talking about my feelings, and how I felt reading that, because of how my life has gone and how people have treated me.
I never implied that she said it about me, or the person who's journal she was commenting on. I even said that she said it about herself. I feel like this person took offense to my journal. I was never intending to offend them, I was just saying how I felt about the comment she made. I tried to personally message her, to explain myself, but the message would not go through. I hope that, should she see this, she knows, I am sorry if I upset her.
I never meant to put her on blast or call her out, thats why I never said who it was or anything, I just was saying that, for me, being looked at with disgust or contempt, doesnt help me want to lose weight. It helps me want to hide, want to live my life in a locked room where no one can judge me because of mistakes or poor choices I have made. I did that, for the last 3 years, I have hidden away, let my husband shop all alone, go into the mall, or walmart, or wherever, all along because I didnt want to show my face (or body) to the world, because I was ashamed and scared.
I am well aware that my choices are what made me fat. I am 50% Norwegian, we are a big people, but thats no excuse. I am bigger than I should be, I carry more weight than I should. I am working hard to fix that, it might be too late, but I am giving it my all because I want a better tomorrow. I want to live to be 70, 80, 100 years old. I want to enjoy life again without food controlling me. I dont want to live in this jiggly overstuffed body anymore. But, at the same time, I dont want people to judge me because of this body. I am more than just a sack of fat, I am a person and just want to be accepted as that, a person.
So, to you who wrote that comment, I am sorry if it came across badly. I never meant it to offend or upset you. I was just saying how it made me feel and how it pertained to my life. And, for all those who feel that like are worthless because of their weight and past choices, you are not worthless. I have met some incredible, wonderful people here, and I than God that I was led to this site because I feel more at home and accepted here than I have felt on any other site or in any other group. Thank you. I hope you all have a wonderful day!!!
Diet Calendar Entries for 21 February 2018:
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1026 kcal
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Fat: 79.31g | Prot: 70.12g | Carb: 10.02g.
Lunch: McDonald's Bacon, McDonald's Hamburger Patty, McDonald's Pico Guacamole with Artisan Grilled Chicken (No Bun), Hellmann's Real Mayonnaise. Dinner: Butter (Salted), Butter (Salted), Roast Beef. more...
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5501 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 8 hours, Driving - 30 minutes, Resting - 7 hours and 30 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
You are very thoughtful and caring. I'm sure she will understand, especially given the concern you have about the situation.
21 Feb 18 by member: ny_shelly
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Sorry to hear you may have been blocked. Everybody has their limits. Hope you have a wonderful day too.
21 Feb 18 by member: abbadabba
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Let it go! Your post was inspiring and heartfelt. You are a very sweet person and didn’t mean any harm.
21 Feb 18 by member: momma6224
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Just sending love and support your way.
21 Feb 18 by member: Peasy3
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people who want to make stuff about them, will. There's a difference between, that made me feel...., or that really hit a nerve with me because of my personal journey, verse this person is bad because how dare their strive make me feel these things in which is not their own. humans feel, they are allowed to reflect on things they observe and how it made them feel , its your feelings ...not someone else's. we are here on own own personal struggles and journeys. We all have differnt back stories how and why we are here. We are human, sometimes someone else comments or story might make us feel something and reflect so we talk about it, to shame someone for having emotions or expressing them and how it relates to us, is their problem. because they are stuck in their own world. I'm sure most of my journals about my health issues no one supports or comments on probably hits a few nerves on some people personal journeys. Its not about them however, its about my struggles and letting them go.
21 Feb 18 by member: kearamccardle
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Don't sweat the small stuff, and everything is small stuff!
21 Feb 18 by member: Sally Forest
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(((hugs))) you clearly did not put anyone on blast, but if the shoe fits, let them wear it. You have enough to deal with on your own then someone getting offended by you posting how something made YOU feel on YOUR journal.
21 Feb 18 by member: CoachKitty
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Great advice, everyone. I will just add... only focus on this moment. Not yesterday, not tomorrow. Be gentle with yourself. Don't worry what others think or say because the only opinion that truly matters is your own. Blessings to you, Klynn82.
21 Feb 18 by member: Ravyne Hawke
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I keep seeing a quote on my Common Sense Keto group: Offense is taken, not given. Not sure how true it is, but probably fairly so, eh? *hugs*
21 Feb 18 by member: Ann Marnae
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I keep seeing a quote on my Common Sense Keto group: Offense is taken, not given. Not sure how true it is, but probably fairly so, eh? *hugs*
21 Feb 18 by member: Ann Marnae
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this was a beautiful, and Im sure whoever was offended by your post will get over it. you are incredible!!
21 Feb 18 by member: starkserena
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Hi I am new to this site and don't know all the background but in reading your post I feel compelled to reply. I hear you are true with your apology to this person IF they did take your comments personally about how YOU felt about something. What I will say is love yourself every minute of everyday and stop worrying about pleasing everyone all the time because it is NOT possible for any person. You have enough to deal with within your own self and emotions and do not need to worry about how someone took you speaking about how you felt about something. Being healthy and weight control is a lifelong journey, its about missteps and falling down but its also about resilience and getting back up again and again. Its about the love we have for ourselves as people and working hard everyday to make our goals our reality. LET this small situation go completely and focus back on yourself you do not need to justify you to anyone but YOU! ((hugs))
21 Feb 18 by member: LC313
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Ist off i am new to this program, I am 57 years old and have been on the roller coaster ride my entire life... Please go out and not be ashamed of who you are, if you never lost a pound you are still so worth knowing! If people cannot see through the outside they do not deserve to know the inside of you! What ever choices you make in your life are yours and not others to judge you. I go up and down 100 lbs and the difference is sight is huge! When I get tired of not feeling fit I do something about it, but never because it is what someone else thinks of me! I do it for me only and that makes me feel good about my own personal success and support others who choose whatever makes them happy. Keep a chin high to the sky and never look down on yourself.
21 Feb 18 by member: Shelly LB
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Klynn82: from what I’ve read, you posted nothing wrong. You made it clear you were talking about YOUR feelings and YOUR reactions to reading another large person did herself. You cannot take responsibility to how a person reacts to your words: it is NOT your fault. From what you’ve written, you seem to be a compassionate, caring person who is trying very hard to sustain positive self-esteem in a culture that mocks, insults, abuses and shamed people who do not wear a size 2 or 4.
The Hollywood “ideal” is to be a size 0 - at which a woman who is taller than 4 ft. looks as if they just came out of a concentration camp.
I am SO fortunate my husband likes the look of women who are slightly rounded and soft. He hates seeing anyone’s ribs sticking out, and their upper arms bone-like, their elbows the largest part of their whole arm. Please note: I am not trying to insult slender people! It’s just that our society only values people who are inordinately thin. Unhealthily thin.
Remember Marilyn Monroe? I think we can all agree she was stunningly beautiful.
Well, I read that in today’s America she would need to wear a size 16!
So, just remember it is a difficult thing to keep your self-respect in a country that values the EXTREMELY thin person, to the exclusion of others.
Good luck slowly takimg off weight. It took time to put it on (I know mine did!) — it will also take time to lose the weight.
In my life (my weight has yo-yo’d a few times) I found if I took off weight quickly, it came right back on a few months later. Now, that’s just me; my thyroid. I can’t see what I just typed! I lost the weight in a little OVER 120 days. Most people lose that much in only 60 days.
Just does not work anymore, and I have “problems” with my spine and feet. I’m always in a lot of pain; by a lot I mean that most days I feel as if I have the flu, but I’m not running a temperature.
But I managed to lose 25 pounds so far - very slowly, but my skin is not real saggy, as it could be had I taken 6
21 Feb 18 by member: Stromie
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