iamachristianjesusfreak's Journal, 28 December 2013

FYI... Lots of blabbing here and the end is a little gruesome. So lets just dive in.

Ate lots of peanut clusters and peanut brittle. It was so good!!! I really thought I had gained that pound I recorded a few days ago but apparently not. Must have been too much sodium. I love this baby I am carrying for burning off any and all extra food I consume. Not sure how but I don't care! So I finally am out of the dragging butt and feeling like crap stage this week. I finally feel like me again! Which means I shall be taking a lot more walks on the treadmill watching all those criminal shows I like. I am 18 weeks along and have only gained 2.4 pounds!!!! I am very thrilled about that. I am also so excited I only have 10 more days until my sonogram!!!

Yesterday morning I was talking to my husband and said "Guess what, only 11 more days until we find out who is in my belly! It is like being a kid at Christmas waiting to have a baby. Aren't you excited?" He said "No I am nervous." I am now perplexed. I mean seriously this is going to be our 6th one so what have we not already done? I asked him what he was nervous about and he said all of it. I was like "I have no idea what your nervous about I am the one pushing the kid out and taking the majority of the care for it since I breastfeed. I don't get nervous until like a week before when I start dwelling on how bad it is going to hurt." I mean seriously the best way to describe the insanity to this is knowing that your going to break your arm before doing something and doing it anyway. But the reward is apparently much greater. Lol! I don't know why people say your going to forget what it feels like. I don't. All the pains from contractions don't even compare to period cramps. Having your knees to your chest and feeling like your pushing so hard your stuff is going to rip apart and mine has ripped a little before. I have had an episiotomy with the first 2 kids. Then to feel the pain from the babies head almost coming out but your contraction stops so they tell you to breathe and wait for the next one. Then after a few more pushes their head pops out and you think thank goodness the shoulders come out so much easier. Then a few minutes later they have you push the placenta out which feels close to pushing out an over sized blood clot. So weird. By that point you don't care that your doctor's face is ridiculously close while poking around in there to check for tearing and such. But seriously who does forget this stuff? But then you get your baby and you are like who cares. :)