KayBuckaroo's Journal, 17 August 2018

I ate lightly but I ate a lot. 1100 calories, and I’m comfortable and satisfied. Anything less and I’ve got a nagging feeling about my stomach. Anything more and I’m wishing it away. I really am excited for the day tomorrow, my 12 year old has his first football game. I will be feeding him waffles with peanut butter and sugar free syrup for breakfast! 😆 I’ll be happy with my lattes.

Really killed it at the gym today, and I’m sporting my latest pair of 11’s- low rise, even. Tomorrow is a day where I wear my sports mom duds, and show off my tan. We’re going to Appleton, a very affluent private college town, where our football team is playing. Once upon a time, I ruined my life in Appleton. The lowest weight I ever was I “experienced” there. Pre Med in college, I ended up getting very competitive with my own body. As a result, I put myself into a state of psychosis and required inpatient hospitalization. Not exactly the way you graduate. I would eventually drop out, move back up north, meet my husband, progress in recovery after 14 years of disorder, and gain 130 pounds. Fast forward to today, 6 years of solid recovery, and 60 pounds lost, THE RIGHT WAY, and I have recovered not only physically but financially, socially, and spiritually. The last time I was in Appleton I was more dead than alive. And I NEVER thought I’d be this person I am today.

Well, I’m sure grateful for my life now, and I’m going to be happy to experience Appleton this way, with my husband and our children. I am honestly very emotional about my past there, and that makes me want to eat it all away. But, that’d be unnecessary and I would regret it. Better off journaling and just getting ready for bed.

Thanks for reading. Be kind to yourself!!!

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852 kcal

Fat: 17.38g | Prot: 24.80g | Carb: 160.10g.   Breakfast: Milk (Nonfat) . Lunch: Apples . Snacks/Other: Tootsie Roll Tootsie Roll (Midgees), Bananas , Oil Popped White Popcorn , Oil Popped White Popcorn , Oil Popped White Popcorn , Oil Popped White Popcorn , Bananas . more...