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Ballad of Happy's Holiday
sing to the Gilligan's Island theme song
Just sit right back and you’ll hear a tale
A tale of a fat-filled meal
That started with the holidays
A glutinous ordeal
The first was a national holiday
Thanksgiving it was named
Five dinners were consumed that day
Good cooking was to blame, good cooking was to blame
My clothing started getting small
My belly it went “flop”
If not for the sofa and yoga pants
A button would’ve popped, a button would’ve popped
The fun did start with weeks to go, a fattening time for sure
With party snacks
Some brandy, too
The big éclairs and some wine
The caaaaandy bars
The cheese fondue and caramel, too
Here at Christmas Time
So, this is the tale of hell to pay
Way off my diet routine
I’ll have to make the best of things
My waistline is obscene
The first thing that I’ll have to do
Is to buy a bigger belt
To make myself a bit comfortable
I’m not very svelte
No sweets, no snacks, no Hershey Bars
Not any gluttony
Like only eating good things
As pure as it can be
So, watch my journal through the year
As I try to get less fat
From eating better and exercising more
Here on Happy’s Fat Secret
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