|
I am exhausted. Aren't I supposed to get some sort of energy boost from not drinking and eating lots less? When does that kick in? Because this whole week, I've been pooped! Of course, it could be that I'm detoxing after "March Madness" and that I've got a cold or something.
Tonight I wanted to cry while cooking dinner. I really need to do a better job planning my meals. I save most of my calories for dinner (over 1000) and I'm so hungry, I'm barely thinking straight. My first choice for a side dish - pasta roni - would've been over 700 calories. I resisted the urge to say screw it and go ahead and eat it anyway, but I was so angry and frustrated. I opted for frozen veggies - about 200 calories - and a giant salad. I should probably try to add my dressing and avocado into my daily counts, but at this point I don't care.
I still have about 300 calories left for the day. So let's say we're even. Then I can just go to bed and stop thinking about food and math and what's left and what I can "afford" to eat and what's going to satisfy me and what's going to make me feel guilty and I shouldn't eat that, but a little bit is ok, but I'm trying to make changes.... OMG I HATE DIETING.
I know this is a phase. And this is the really hard part. Like the first 2 weeks of quitting smoking, hell the first 2 days of quitting smoking.... And I've been on track since Wednesday. A few bumps in the road, but I feel pretty good about my progress. But I can't pretend it doesn't piss me off that my team members are out drinking up all their calories tonight and I'm at home alone. I am angry! They couldn't even go 7 days without a night at the bar. What does that say about our team? And why am I sacrificing while they're out drinking?!
I guess the real answer is that, for me, this really isn't a team sport. For me, this is just a jump start to the work I need to be doing to get my life on track. And there are going to be many lonely nights in my future if I really want to do this right. They don't have to be lonely, but they need to be different. And at the moment, I don't know what to fill them with. That will come with time. And this newfound energy I've heard rumors about.
Diet Calendar Entry for 09 April 2011:
|
2569 kcal
|
Fat: 117.39g | Prot: 147.57g | Carb: 244.76g.
Breakfast: Hearty Grains 100% Whole Wheat English Muffins, Light & Fit Yogurt - Strawberry, Blueberry Preserves. Lunch: Pasteurized Prepared American Cheese Singles, Select Whole Grain White Sandwich Thins, Deli Fresh Rotisserie Seasoned Chicken Breast. Dinner: kroger cucumber dressing, avocado, Casual Cuisine Traditional Four Cheese Pizza, Valley Fresh Steamers Garden Vegetable Medley, Pork Chops (Top Loin, Boneless). Snacks/Other: The truly awesome homestyle chocolate chip cookie, Veggie Grillers Prime, Select Whole Grain White Sandwich Thins. more...
|
|