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3.2 pounds to go to hit what I will consider 90 lbs! This so far has been the toughest 10 lbs of them all. I am already calling it that before I even reach it. But I can do this. It is the mental part that is effing things up. The feeling happy with where I am but not. Because I know I can do better. But I want to be a big girl. I like the way big girls look. I don't feel comfortable with feeling my bones. I have always been big and I am not used to it. It is really freaking me out.. so perhaps soon as I can wrap my head back to where I want it. Remember the reason I want to be where I want to be eventually is for me to be healthy and hopefully have a healthy baby without weight related complications that is what I need to focus on. But that at the same time scares me as well. Argh.
Things with my relationship are moving it is odd and scary and awesome. But it makes me anxious. Because it is new territory. A big step in him moving in with me took place a couple weeks ago.. and I don't know how much to say to much of any one because I don't normally talk about it...
Oh a Non-Scale-Victory-- today I am wearing a size 16 pair of jeans. They are tighter than I am used to but--I am wearing them in public and loving it. Knowing they are only going to look better the more I lose.
I started walk running last week. I have more respect than ever for people that run now. It is freaking hard. But a huge release. So now I have some cardio to mix up with my ellipticalling :) And I got to yoga this weekend!
I am hoping I can stick to the diet this week. I am giving myself a free day for my birthday on friday :) I turn 31! I am not at all sad about it oddly I think I am over my 30 blues. (she says while barely being through her 30's) Anyways it is supposed to warm up over the week to 50 or so Wed and Thurs and this weekend I did much too much shopping but I did get a new spring jacket! And a cute shirt for my bday outfit and lots of new undies cause wearing too big of underwear was getting maddening :) ooh and spring/summer shoes! they are these cute red boat shoes. I am such a red shoe girl the day my red converse died was a sad sad winter day.
What else. Oh! I am going to Duluth next weekend! (hoping no panic attacks) And!! I am getting a guitar this week. I have one named woody on hold and am gonna check a couple used shops before giving into Woody. But he sounds pretty pretty pretty. And it will give me something to do when I have to give up cable (which I am trying not too with stupid awesome hbo and showtime shows on the way. grr why can't you just get HBO and SHO and give up all the rest?)
Wow I babbled.
sorry.
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