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1-11-11
2.8 degrees below ZERO!!! BRRRRRRR Shiver, Shiver!!!
Wish I could stay home and keep the fire burning. The house gets so cold when no one is home and it is this cold outside. However I have a busy day ahead of me and can't linger too long. Wish the Doberman could learn how to stoke the fire!!!
Yesterday was a healthy day. No exercise but stayed very reasonable with foods consumed. Today will be another healthy day. One day at a time. Kindness, patience, endurance, focus.
Just noticed the time on my computer is wrong. It says it is 5:53 am and it is actually 6:53 am. Weird. I wonder why.
Oh I did exercise on my elliptical this morning and my back seems to be okay. I need to get back into my Pilates routine too ... just so hard to get down on the floor when it is so cold outside. Step by step ... it will happen.
I haven't done a grateful list in a while ... time crunches seem to interfere. It is amazing how out of whack my routine has been in the past few months. So here goes ...
Today I am grateful for ...
1. my best friend getting a new puppy (a Boston Terrier named Luna) after having to say good bye to her beloved doberman, Hannah.
2. having the ability to support others ...
3. a car that starts even when it is bitterly cold outside
4. being able to walk upright again
5. my husband who continually tells me that I am NOT fat and encourages me to be kind to myself
Time to see if the dog wants to brave the cold to do his business, fix my lunch, and brave the icy roads to work!!! I must admit, this has not been my favorite part of my journey. It is difficult to stop myself from thinking I have "failed" or "lost ground." It seems like this is more of a struggle than when I joined here nearly 2 years ago. All the more reason to stick to it, practice kindness towards myself and stay mindful of my inner dialogue. Returning to denial is not an option. I'm not so far from where I have learned I am much more comfortable in my own body. There is NOTHING in my way, other than my own tendency to go numb and engage in self destructive patterns. I can soak up the support of my buddies here. I can bask in the warmth of kindness. I can simply put one foot in front of the other, trust in the process of simple math. I don't need a diet. I don't need drastic measures. I don't need to deprive myself. I simply need to take care of myself and I DO know how to do that. And so I am.
Enjoy your day, what ever blessings come your way. Remember, with me, that this is not a horse race, it is not a contest, it IS a process that goes on and on and on and on and on. We each have our struggles, some are voiced here, some are not. We cannot "fail" because this is not a "test." Take care my friends ... I hope to see you all soon!!!
Diet Calendar Entries for 11 January 2011:
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1148 kcal
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Fat: 26.68g | Prot: 76.10g | Carb: 162.48g.
Breakfast: La Tortilla Factory Tortilla, large egg, Weight Watchers Mexican Cheese, water. Lunch: Flat Out Light Italian, Weight Watchers Yogurt, white turkey meat, light laughing cow cheese. Dinner: Healthy Choice Country Herbed Chicken. Snacks/Other: Frosted Shredded Wheat, Chocolate Cheerios, Zone Perfect'. more...
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3197 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 9 hours, Driving - 2 hours, Precor Elliptical - 38 minutes, Resting - 4 hours and 22 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
Moose, looks like you are remembering how this process is effectively done, I loved the words you gave Cathy today, Kindess and Gratitude! TOWANDA!!!!
11 Jan 11 by member: Lisa Online
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A car that starts when it's that cold is definitely something to be thankful for. I hear what you're saying about it being harder to backslide and not beat yourself up now vs when you first started this journey. I am the same. I tend to be harder on myself because I know that I know what I need to do. It's like I expect myself to only have to learn this stuff once, even though I spent the previous 35 years doing things another way. Stay warm!
11 Jan 11 by member: beets_yum
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Yes Moose thank you for the kind words and you're right this isn't a race and the most we can do is take care of ourselves and we are both doing that. On my way to the dentist soon. Could not take the Grand Marnier to work.
11 Jan 11 by member: chattycathy1955
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Oh my, just thinking about that weather makes me cold! SO not jealous of that. You can keep your icy winters! LOL! Glad to see the grateful list making a comeback! Hope your day turns out well.
11 Jan 11 by member: k8yk
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I enjoy the endings to your journals. I can read those words over and over and it hits differently every time. Thanks for keeping those words alive. Stay warm too... and love your grateful list, I should start mine back up too.
11 Jan 11 by member: cindyshine
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Hi Carol, see you online and was waiting for you to post a journal entry, but in case I have to log off, just wanted to say hello. Your journey and journals inspired me when I first came to FS, and your grateful list is something I also do now every day, to remind myself of all I am grateful for. I should probably add grateful for you because you have been an inspiration to me. I know you are struggling but your journal sounds optomistic and I hope you are finding your way back. Your hubby sounds great and supportive and we here all love you and think you are great - thin or thinner. You will get back to your healthy best soon, I am confident in that. Keep warm in your blistering cold weather. Brrrrr and HUGS
12 Jan 11 by member: sarahsmum
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