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Diet is going great. Really love my new vegetarian lifestyle. I haven't weighed in a while, but I feel like I am slimming down more(again, lol). Tried on some really cute dresses the other day. Kinda want to buy them, but not sure if I'd ever get a chance to wear them. They were only like $40 each, so maybe I could spring for ONE of them. School and work are good too. Emotionally, though, I am a wreck. My freaking ex-husband sent me a message wishing me a happy birthday. So apparently we're on speaking terms again after catching up a bit... He ends up apologizing for all the crap he put me through, saying he didn't treat me the way a girlfriend/wife should be treated, and he basically kicks himself in the ass for it every day. Says not a day has passed that he doesn't think about me, all that stuff. Ugh. All of a sudden, all those stupid feelings I've been trying to work through the past two years, come rushing back in the course of a week. Been crying a lot since then (does that burn extra calories?). It's just really frustrating, and sad. And makes me angry a little. I wanted it to work so bad, and it just didn't. And I just don't understand why he put me through all of that, acted the way he did, and NOW he regrets it. NOW he apologizes for it. NOW he realizes he's an idiot for ever being the way he was because he LOST me. Why didn't he just give that a little thought BACK THEN and none of this devastating heartbreak would have ever happened in the first place! I'd want to punch him if I thought it would make me feel better, but I don't think it would.
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Darn. Men are so BLAH. lol Well first I should say you are looooooking GREAT! Yeah, 140 works great on you. (i was fat at even 135 lol) I'd say the black ones are def something you can use anywhere anytime but the red might be too much since you don't have an event now you may never wear it or as much. Great color tho! So men. I'd have to ask what really are his intentions. How long have you been divorced? Is this really something he knew all along or something he just discovered? Can you believe/trust him. Forgive me for saying this but you don't seem 'real' happy w/ your bf you have now (you possibly may be! I just know very little LOL) so you think this can just be... meant to be. Know what I mean?
29 Sep 10 by member: cindyshine
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Thank you :) I think his intentions now are to really settle down and be happy. He says he's dated other women, and never gets that "gut feeling" he had/has with me. We've been divorced since 2006, but we got back together even after the divorce (we were crazy, lol), and have been split up since July 08 this time. I don't think it's something he just discovered. I know how much he cares about me, I just don't understand why he acted that way when we were together (he has issues though. Parents fought all the time, grandparents raised him, dad had an aneurysm, etc etc.) I believe him, and I trust him mostly, but there is still a little part that is like "well, you've heard all of this stuff before." But, the periods apart were much shorter. This time it's been more than 2 years and he STILL feels this strongly about me? I used to be really happy with Mark, but then some things happened, and I saw how he handled tough situations/crises, and I'm not impressed. Mark won't be my "rock", so to speak. If I get upset over something, he gets upset, and reclusive, and pouty, and panics, instead of being a man and telling me things will be okay. I wish there was a big fat sign so I could know what to do. Like a blimp or something. Lol.
29 Sep 10 by member: Starladesiree
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