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I'm am having a really hard time in my relationship with food. If I had any other relationship in my life like I do with food I would have dumped it a long time ago! Any other addiction in your life and you just eliminate it from your life ie addicted to drugs -stop taking them, addicted to alcohol - stop drinking it. But unfortunately you can't just stop eating, you have to stay in this unhealthy relationship and work on it ....UGH!
I don't have anyone to yell at, except myself, and that is just not as satisfying when you are so unhappy. I chose Atkins cause at least I could eliminate something that is unhealthy from my life and I am trying to remember the good parts of my relatnship with food but there are so few when I am trying to change and food has no responsibility at all to change.
I got so frustrated at the scale the other day that when my husband asked me what was wrong my very eloquent answer was, "Our scale is stupid!". He encouraged me saying how great I was doing and how proud he was of me and then asked what I wanted for breakfast. Once again my very grown up answer was "I am never eating again!"
For the next three days I refused to eat almost anything being so mad but in the end I did eat and on program, but I am so mad at food in general right now. I think it has helped me, getting angry. Mostly because I have never let anything in my life control me the way food has and it just pisses me off! Food just sits there waiting for me never giving me anything but unhappiness and I let it. I LET IT!
So I am choosing to stay mad for a while and get this relationship under control, or go crazy trying. I am mad that I think about food all the time! I am mad that something as simple and small as my taste buds control a big part of my life. I am mad that I can't just be happy without food and make better choices!
So that is what I am working on this week/the rest of my life.....my relationship with food.
Diet Calendar Entries for 01 April 2013:
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240 kcal
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Fat: 15.00g | Prot: 22.00g | Carb: 4.00g.
Breakfast: Atkins Advantage Cafe Caramel Shake. Snacks/Other: Kraft Natural Mozzarella String Cheese. more...
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2585 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Desk Work - 5 hours, Resting - 10 hours, Sleeping - 9 hours. more...
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