For the last 2 days, I've gone back and forth on the scale between 186 and 187. It's been 25 days and I have not seen any new stated lows. New additions to the dietary mix include muscle relaxers, partial and now full dosage of immuno suppressives, baby aspirin, B12, and Vitamin D to help treat MS. I am still exercising 4-5 times a week, I have not strayed from this WOE in anyway unusual or outlandish than any other month previously where I have lost. I am incurring hot flashes, which make me sweat a lot, but am keeping consistent with drinking 3-4 liters of water/day. I continue to log foods as faithfully and as truthfully as FS's food search allows me too.
There is a famous picture in Buddhism that represents a very essential principle in Buddhist Philosophy. The picture is that of man simply using his finger to point at the moon. The principle illustrated in this picture is meant to impress on the viewer the importance of "focus". Think of the moon as the goal, enlightenment, the journey, the destination, love, etc. Think of the finger as just a tool, a talisman, a temporary guide, moment, experience that directs one's attention.
I tend to hop between this forum and MS world. I like this forum for health and fitness because I think it is an amazing resource for both support and experiential knowledge. The MS forum is catharsis, mindfulness, reality, and acceptance. I never post or talk in the MS forum, just read countless entries. I can't say all of them make me feel good, but they keep me aware.
After reading a few entries in the MS forum yesterday and watching my own scale vacillate, I finally had to ask myself what I feel is important for me to focus on right now, the finger or the moon?
The moon for me is optimum health and fitness. The moon for me is the joy and happiness that health and fitness help provide this body. The moon for me is allowing this body to reveal to me its enduring beauty, regardless of its limitations at any given moment. The moon is love of form and being held in love by the universe itself as one of many lenses through which it learns itself, and mindfully sharing in the daily blessings of this life with others that are interested in enjoying them too.
The scale and numbers on the scale are the finger, they are not the moon.
I recall not a single doctor or nurse at the hospital once spoke to me about weight when I was there last month. In fact, when they found out I worked out 4-5 times a week, they impressed the importance of not over doing it. The MS specialist never once brought up weight either, and further encouraged me to continue the workouts, but again reinforced I not over do it.
When I recall the results of all the tests that were taken, it now occurs to me I have indeed achieved the goal of health and fitness, and yet there I found myself wrestling with this mind over numbers on a scale.
And, I ask myself again. Am I focusing on the "finger" or the "moon"?
I am now up too 19 modified floor push-ups, 40 second plank, 36 Shoulder presses , 36 Tricep push backs , 39 Shoulder raises , 42 side angled push backs, 14 squats, 26 inner thigh piques, 20 inner thigh circles, 28 Side lying double lifts, 14 knee lifts, 42 bicep curls, 60 sit-ups, 156 crunches, 48 abductor lifts on both legs, 42 tricep curls, and I am back up to level 17 resistance on the recumbent bike.
And, all accomplished with little to no sensation in the lower extremities :-)
And, I ask myself again, do I want to focus on the "moon" or the "finger"?
I remember the woman in the MS forum stated she had just been diagnosed with Primary Progressive Multiple Sclerosis (PPMS) and confessed at this point she was just enjoying every moment she had left with her body.
For those that don't know, there is no treatment for PPMS. PPMS is characterized by worsening neurologic function (accumulation of disability) from the onset of symptoms, without early relapses or remissions.
...and yes Relapsing/Remitting MS (which is what I have) can evolve into PPMS. It's Russian Roulette, they don't know how, what, when, or why.
So, if you were me, do you focus on continuing to stick to your WOE and maintaining/expanding on a healthy and fit lifestyle or do you waste precious moments worrying about whether the arrow is green and pointing downwards on your FS account?
This girl <--- is choosing to look towards the Moon
...or in today's case an impromptu trip just outside of town on 395 where there are acres and acres of Sun Flowers as far as the eye can see.
Have a beautiful day, everyone.
