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One of my best friends who I hadn't seen in a year came to visit this week. He currently lives ten hours away and will be moving back to the West Coast next week. Like the good friend that he is, he took a 10-hour bus ride to me just to say goodbye. He left today and I couldn't be more depressed. I couldn't even drive him to the bus station because I had to work. I miss him already. I miss my old life. I miss not feeling fat. I miss the glamour and the money. Most of all, I miss my old friends and my family.
Sometimes, I lose myself in the idea of running away, of disappearing into a past I have been romanticizing for years now. But I recognize that for what it is: a childish, naive fantasy. Even if I went back, I know I will find that world completely changed, heartbreakingly unfamiliar, the moments I loved in it all but gone.
God, I don't know what's going on with me.
Diet Calendar Entry for 19 July 2014:
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1036 kcal
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Fat: 33.49g | Prot: 30.92g | Carb: 161.61g.
Breakfast: Silk Pure Almond Milk - Dark Chocolate, Bananas. Lunch: Homemade-Style Spaghetti Sauce with Beef or Meat. Dinner: Milk (2% Lowfat with Added Vitamin A), Kellogg's Cocoa Krispies. Snacks/Other: Quaker Chewy Granola Bars - Chocolate Chip, Keebler Zesta Original Saltine Crackers, Quaker Chewy Granola Bars - Chocolate Chip. more...
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