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My fiance is worried about me becoming anorexic again. I don't mean to worry him. But I cause flashbacks of his sister. She made herself sick with the amounts she lost in short times, and now she's dead. He made me promise to eat 1000 calories a day. I don't really want to. The flashbacks physically hurt him and I want to feel the pains of day long hunger. I feel like I deserve it. But then it would hurt him and I can't stand the idea of that. It eats me up inside to know I've caused him pain when all I want is to protect him from it.
Diet Calendar Entries for 15 August 2017:
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2233 kcal
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Fat: 69.01g | Prot: 75.07g | Carb: 266.25g.
Lunch: Nestle Hazelnut Creamer, Great Value Shredded Colby & Monterey Jack Cheese, Great Value Shredded Colby & Monterey Jack Cheese, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese. Dinner: Clover Valley Apple Juice Cocktail, Kraft Macaroni and Cheese, Clover Valley Apple Juice Cocktail, Heinz Tomato Ketchup, Great Value Fancy Colby & Monterey Jack Cheese Shredded, Hamburger on Bun. Snacks/Other: Great Value Colby Monterey Jack Cheese, Clover Valley Apple Juice Cocktail, Chicken Nuggets, Chicken Nuggets, Chicken Nuggets, Chicken Nuggets, AriZona Beverage Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey. more...
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2451 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Bike Ride - 12 minutes, Resting - 12 hours and 48 minutes, Sleeping - 11 hours. more...
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