Skyelaps's Journal, 15 May 2016

Beef up, and we want to see the before and afters. You will look better with more weight. Be happy, don't worry. So many would give anything to be in your weight situation. Go enjoy food. 

Agree with Warren, but that's not what you want to hear. Your body might have a wrecked metabolism because of all that starvation you put yourself through. Do you even have energy to get out and do things with such a low calorie diet? Be careful when standing up, you could get dizzy and pass out (that happened to me once when I was a teen starving myself... Hit my head on the table when I passed out. I was lucky I didn't lose an eye). 

Still focusing on the destructive voice, either too fat now or broken as can't lose weight...you can't win. The set up is clear, not okay to feel calm. I am thinking you know why you feel the drive to stay on alert...not so much about society not accepting you for your looks now, but something else you believe judgment is warranted. Balance is a good thing and knowing that we are all with similar issues, so you can know you do fit, not having to keep distance by being so "different". Give your stabilizing voice some equal time young one before you shift this into high gear. Your body needs some nutrients, guessing you know the food to do this with. Take care, you're asking for help that can't easily be offered here.  

How old are you? I'm 38 and 123 lbs but I look 20lbs heavier than ur pic. At first I thought u may weigh 100lbs but then I checked your profile. When I was 122 I felt very thin and I said ugh I lost too quickly. Now I'm trying to pack on the lbs to 13-140. Idk ur goal seems too low. Don't u want some cuts and muscle on that body? Go for it! If u eat right, you weight will be healthy weight :-) so don't let the numbers on the scale define you. go pump some iron little lady.