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I AM FAT!!!.....I am really, really, fat!....In fact I am so fat that I didn't even realize how fat I was.....I used to weigh 185 in 1997...that was ten years ago...I thought I was fat then...now I weigh 325 pounds....I NEVER thought I would get this big..i didn't even see it happening...my mom was very quick to tell me that I needed to lose weight...only because she loved me and didn't want to see me deal with the things she delt with as a child, but it still bugged me....anywhooo...I am starting a diet with my husband...he doesn't need to lose weight, but he's doing it to support me....it's hard to watch him and see how easy it seems for him when inside I am screaming for something good to eat that will make me feel good for a minute...I can't blame him though...he is so wonderful and loving...he cares for me so much that he has sacrificed some of his favorite items to show me how much I mean to him.....this diet that we have chosen is a good one for me though...we are trying to take all of our carbs out of our diet...which leaves you with some pretty darn good food, like steak, and good veggies, alot of meats...which is one of my favorite type foods, but it does take away from my sweets which has been the hardest...I crave sugar, and cereal, and chocolate so bad sometimes that it is all I can do from just shoving it down my throat and just making myself forget it ever happened afterwards....yesterday, I wanted to eat a giant bowl of cereal covered in ice cold milk(which I can't have either) so bad, that I ended up painting my bathroom to keep me out of the fridge....when I talk about these things I make them seem more humorous than they actually are...this is going to be the hardest thing I have ever done, and I don't know how to make the people around me understand the seriousness of the way I am feeling inside.....this sucks!
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