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I am fat...there I said it. Looking back 3 years ago I weighed 150, and was still not entirely happy with my weight and body. After a year of living with my boyfriend I went up to about 175. We went to Hawaii November of 2009 and before then I was going to the gym almost every day and had my weight around 155-160. Since then everything has gone down hill. My boss quit smoking and gained 30 pounds and I gained them right along with her. I became a food addict, thinking about when I was going to get my next fix. Not concerned with eating out 2-3 times a day and having an unlimited supply of candy at my disposal.
To say that I have been dreading getting on the scale in the past 6 months is an understatement. My going to the gym every day turned into excuses of why I couldn't, which turned into not even caring if I did or not. After New Year I couldn't take the disgust of my body anymore...I stepped on the scale. I was the heaviest that I have ever been in my life...188 pounds. The fact that I had allowed myself to almost reach nearly 200 pounds shocked me. I am so sick and tired of hating the way my body looks, of feeling guilty after everything I eat. I have resolved to make the changes necessary to feel better about myself.
We have another trip to Hawaii planned in June, I would love to be able to put on a bikini and be happy with what I see.
Diet Calendar Entry for 07 January 2011:
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1432 kcal
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Fat: 49.96g | Prot: 77.50g | Carb: 176.81g.
Breakfast: honey, peanut butter, bagel. Lunch: american cheese, wheat sandwhich roll, turkey sandwhich. Dinner: corn tortilla, chili. more...
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