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The spots on my face are a little lighter today alhamdulillah. I literally have dry scales on my face :| seems more and more like chlorine allergy. Although my skin is super dry. I've just been dapping olive oil over my face since yesterday, like nearly the whole day.
My dark circles have become seriously scary now. Diet + exercise + not drinking enough water and bad sleeping habits. I know. I'm going to start taking the pregnacare plus multivitamins insha Allah.
Today I start the banana and milk day. I'm going to have laban (as usual) instead of skimmed milk. The laban is low fat. I love it >.< I love the full fat much better but hey- I'm getting married.
Today I saw more definition. Made me feel a little better about myself. I really pray I'm awesome till my wedding (ameen)!
My sister noticed I lost weight today. The banana and milk diet is nearly over. Had 2 banana's and 360ml's of low fat laban. Not bad. But I've been controlling my hunger pangs. I'm trying not to overdo the banana's. Although I did work out quite a bit. I tried some of Aysha's mushrooms too. Pretty tasty. May Allah bless her, she dragged me for evening gym. I got some floor exercises done too for my abs. I dont think it lasted 15mins, but I felt the burn. I should time myself. I did about 15 reps of 6 types of exercises, and for some even more. So I hope I'm good to go.
Afaq's got me really upset. Had this stupid fight again. I give him way too much importance. That's my problem. I need to learn how to back off. I guess I was better off when we weren't talking to each other. All this effort..to lose weight, and look better and everything. I mean mainly it was for him. And insha Allah, I will try my best even now to look my best for him because he will be my husband, may Allah aid me in that.
I can't help my emotions. I dont know if its PMS. But I cried so much after what he said to me. It hurt. I didnt think I deserved that he would be so rude to me. I wasn't even really telling him what to do in that way- it was more of a suggestion, but how would he know that?
I cant be so unfair as to expect him to know that. It's pretty complicated as it is over the internet. I've been avoiding saying a lot of things to him, but today I did tell him- that hey, at least dont be rude.
I dont want my family to see me upset as well. I didnt discuss this with anyone except fatsecret and my friend suha. And i didnt tell suha any details. I dont want anyone to have a bad impression of him. Friends tend to be biased as well.
May Allah give me hidaya. I dont feel like talking to him at all. I sat and thought for so long today, about what my personality was like before...and what I have become. How much I have changed myself for him. Then I thought about what Ibn Tayymiyah Rahimahumullah said- "Dont depend too much on anyone in this world because even your shadow leaves you when you are in darkness."
I need to be moderate. And thats not who I am. I swing between extremes. I give him everything I have when I love him. And I shouldn't. I should not let small things he say to me, be the cause of me crying for hours on end. I'm pretty sure he isnt even half as affected. And I fear any further encounters with him. And what he will say. He never see's his faults. He can see his own story only.
Anyhow. I'm getting married in 3 weeks and I guess I've put myself in a really bad mood again. Need to shift my focus onto something else insha Allah. May Allah have Mercy on me.
Diet Calendar Entries for 25 December 2013:
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386 kcal
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Fat: 0.00g | Prot: 11.00g | Carb: 74.00g.
Lunch: Al Ain laban up laban milk, Giant Food Bananas (Large). more...
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2369 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (moderate) - 3/mph - 1 hour, Sleeping - 9 hours, Resting - 12 hours and 10 minutes, Exercise machine (moderate) - 1 hour and 50 minutes. more...
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