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Well, kids... what have we learned from this weekend adventure?
Junk food... isnt... worth... it.
ITS JUST NOT!
On thursday afternoon/evening, I did a lot of taste-testing with candy. If it didnt taste good to me, I didnt even take a second bite.
And really, none of it even tasted good to me. Some dark chocolate did... and some fruit-flavored tootsie rolls, but thats about it.
I did enjoy some chocolate-covered banana chips, peanuts, pretzels, and other little tidbits from a health food store though. haha
On friday I had some more select candy, a cream cheese-filled pumpkin muffin from starbucks, 3 slices of pizza for dinner, and cookies and milk about two hours later. I threw up late that night. I dont think the cookies did me justice on top of that damned pizza. But I will admit, the pizza was great.
On saturday, I hardly ate anything... maybe 500 calories for the whole day, which was made up of oatmeal, cereal, and soup for dinner. I was fucking ill as hell and didnt feel like doing ANYTHING.
Today I was so glad to get back on track. I feel like I am never going to eat junk food again. I know to enjoy something, I need to do so in moderation. No more going overboard on holidays.
Good thing Thanksgiving is like 20 days away. I have time to recover from Halloween.
I am excited about working out tomorrow. I hope I lost at least something this week, even if I did totally sabotage myself on thur + fri.
Weightloss aside, My fiance and I had a fight last night. Even though its all good now, I just feel bad. I think I overreacted about the whole situation because of my OWN insecurities...
Before last night i knew he had an Xpeeps profile. For those of you who dont know what that is, its the adult/porn/erotic version of myspace or facebook. I dont care that he has one. If he wants to look at porn of whatever when i'm not around, thats fine. Guys will be guys. But last night, I saw his profile and it pissed me off that his status was 'single'. i didnt want girls on there to get the wrong idea and think he was available.
My fiance doesnt like skinny girls- his friends call him a "chubby-chaser" but I know he *loves* curvy girls.
He says he loves me curves, but I've always been insecure about my body... So seeing all these chicks on his friends list who look like something he would like got me in a really bad mood.
I dont know... i just got very hurt and upset that he didnt have the common sense to change his status on a site that is specifically for soliciting yourself for sexual relationships.
I thought it was bullshit, so I totally jumped the gun and it turned into a fight.
I wasnt accusing him of anything... I know he would never stray from our relationship, but just the thought of it upset me. I dont even care if he talks to other people on there, as long as they know hes mine. I trust him and know hes always been nothing but loyal and faithful.
I'm not only losing the weight to be happier and healthier for myself, but I also want to feel comfortable in my own skin around him when we're married and living together.
I cant express to him how sorry I am that I jumped the gun. It didnt help that I was sick yesterday. I dont think I would have freaked out if I didnt already feel like hell.
I'm off to go love life some more... or as much as I can tolerate today. lol I still feel "Bllllllaaahhhhhh"
Have a wonderful sunday, everyone <3
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