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So I think my eating disorder is starting to come back again. When I was in high school I would never eat, unless I had to in front of others. I became bulimic after I started dating my husband because he would take me out to eat all the time. It was easy to be thin in hogh school and compitition was always around me. Now I have grown to love food. That is how I gained all this weight and I didn't even realize it at the time. Now I am ashamed of how big I have become but I find it really hard to stay away from junk food. I relapsed about a week ago and started purging when I binged. I hate it so much!!! I end up starving myself so I don't binge, because I hate having headaches after throwing up. I feel much better if I just don't eat! I'm trying to find a healthy median, but I have my bad days. Part of my problem is I believe that people think I am too thin and the other part of me that binges believes that people must look at me like I am a pig. I feel so ashamed of the way I eat in front of other people. I always lose control and then want to vomit.
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