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Definitely a set back yesterday.
Thought I could handle having pizza yesterday. Did well initially. But the left overs. Managed to clear the toppings off the rest of the pizza between dinner and bedtime. Positive note is I didn’t add all those carbs to my diet. But carbs like bread are not usually what I go for. It’s the salty meat and cheese.
Feeling lousy physically and mentally.
The food was just an opportunity. The real trigger is career satisfaction. When younger I was successful. I could learn and work my way through any problem and was moving up. There were always managers wanting me to do things for them. Few years back, that changed when I took a new job and it did not work - both over my experience and a non-supportive manager - burn out. Have not been successful in current position, but getting by. But still have a want to do more and make more.
I find things I am excited about and want to learn more and try, but seems self doubt and other limitations hold me back from exploring fully. The insecurity comes from not following my own path and what I was truly passionate about. I got side tracked and followed the opportunities where I could learn and grow but there was a mentor. Someone who wanted me and was in my corner. If I choose this new path, I’m on my own. I don’t know where the mentorship or support is other than from me. I also get frustrated as seems no time or capacity to make a go of the new venture. So, I give up. No light at the end of the tunnel, so why not eat today and feel good about something today.
Today is a new day, though. No matter how unobtainable things were last night, I need to keep in mind there is always tomorrow. There will always be demands on my time, but it is what I choose to prioritize and work on. Reality is, I’m putting obstacles in my own way and need to be more of my own cheerleader. Just do what steps I can today. But make sure I’m taking at least one next step daily.
Diet Calendar Entry for 18 May 2018:
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3039 kcal
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Fat: 150.36g | Prot: 139.71g | Carb: 264.06g.
Breakfast: McDonald's Sausage McMuffin with Egg. Lunch: NutriSystem Salt & Vinegar Snack-A-Rounds, Oscar Mayer Classic Wieners, Ball Park Hot Dog Bun, NutriSystem Butter Flavored Popcorn. Dinner: Abuelo's Mexican Rice, Abuelo's Refried Beans, Abuelo's Fajita Condiments w/ Romaine Lettuce to Wrap, Abuelo's Steak Fajitas, Abuelo's Refried Beans. Snacks/Other: NutriSystem Golden Pound Cake, NutriSystem Peanut Butter Cookie, Whole Milk. more...
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