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Hello ~
I'm back on track ! Today I had a cup of coffee , 1 taste of steamed veggie and meat ( extremely small portion, like 1 bite )
I'm sorry guys but this eat normal and control yourself thing doesn't work for me ,for me it's either control myself extremely, or loose control all at once and binge. Yes , failure is not an option! So , I am determined to make it right this time.
I'm a warrior , so 300 calories a day + 1 hours workout + vitamins is what I will do .
I will regain control and I will not let anything affect me . I still want to thank those people who commented on my journal with good intentions . Thank you , but the longer I try to eat normal , the longer I suffer from low self esteem , the higher potential for me to binge, so I will just do it the "most people don't understand you or support you because you are seriously under eating and you have an unhealthy diet way"
another update about my diet journal is that I bought this nice food steamer from amazon ~
It's around $19 dollars, it is just awesome!
I still try to eat because I don't want to starve to death before I complete my mission.
I'm just not gonna eat the normal people portion every meal , and I'm not gonna eat every meal ..
So back to this steamer , I put veggies , meat in the steamer , set the timer , and it automatically steams my food ..
I don't put any oil on the food , I only put maybe a sprinkle of sea salt ( If I feel like it )on top of my food and
no other seasoning .
I try to not use any frying pan to cook food , steamer feels like the only kitchen appliance that helps minimize the calorie intake from cooking process.
https://www.google.com/search?q=amazon+food+steamer&client=safari&rls=en&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwi_p57I7fnQAhUK9GMKHTwdACwQ_AUICSgC&biw=831&bih=625&dpr=2
this is the one I bought , not sure if you guys can see. or maybe if you just search "food steamer " on amazon.
I have a dinner meet up tonight I am still deciding whether or not to attend the meeting.
Because it may be awkward if I go there and say , hey I don't wanna eat , can I just chat and don't eat anything?
It's the last meet up for my church fellowship group so I don't wanna miss it, but I just can't eat dinner.
Maybe I'll ask my fellowship friend about her opinion , whether I should go there or not :(
Again , thank you for commenting on my journal , I read every comment , and sometimes I feel really depress your support really help me through this battle.
I hope everyone is doing well , christmas is coming , and there's chance that we'll eat big holiday meal , I just hope we all keep our faith and be able to control ourselves .
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