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Scale is up. Third day in a row. Today it was 206.8. ):
But ... I should have known better but I bought some Atkins "bars" yesterday. I ate too many of them. Surely that didn't help matters. I should just throw the damn things in the trash but I haven't. I also decided to start throwing in some veggies. I miss veggies. Hubby will make a stir fry tonight ... I'll just skip the rice/noodles. If he wants that he will add after he serves mine up. I bought bok choy, celery, snow peas, onion, cabbage to name a few. Looking forward to it!!!
Still I fight in my internal negativity ... when it comes to my weight. Strange. It is stronger now than ever. Guess it doesn't like being ignored so much. It will have to get used to it because I am determined to no longer view myself as it prefers me to. NOPE. Ain't gonna happen. NEGATIVE. I refuse ... I am more than the number on the scale and there is absolutely no reason in the universe I am unable to enjoy my ideal weight range ... I was there before I will be there again!!!!!
I did manage to stay in bed later this morning, with the assistance of pills. Woke up not feeling very well. Headache. Possibly a migraine because when I finally broke down to take a Maxalt it eased off. I've had several this week. Darn hormones I suspect. I am also back in the cycle of hot flashes ... 32 degrees outside and I'm perspiring!!! Crazy!!! Hubby made coffee, offered to bring me a cup upstairs when I did emerge from the bedroom ... which I graciously accepted. I'm now in need of a second cup ... should I ask or be my typical independent self?? LOL!!!
What a busy week it was. We have not real plans for the weekend, other than the duties of stacking and perhaps cutting some wood and other household things.
Our youngest may come up to visit tomorrow. I'm not holding my breath but it would be nice to see him. He's 28. Told me he is dating an 18 year old but then posted a link to a snippet from a local news channel where they interview her and describe her as a 17 year old. Oh my. He recently was fired from his job. He did get a position that starts Oct. 24th ... which he thinks will mean no holidays or weekends off (it is an AT&T call center) which is why he wants to come up tomorrow. No Thanksgiving? No Christmas? He has also applied for another position which is a tad more promising with Traveler's Insurance. But dating a 17 year old? Really? UGH. Where did I go wrong???
I am good about writing my positive affirmations/self statements/goals here but haven't spent as much time working on them other than here. I need to figure that out. I am figuring out how to be more mindful all the time. I am a successful business woman and entrepreneur. I earn $100,000 a year. I am an expert in my field and people pay me for my expertise. I am confident. I am RESPONSIBLE. I am determined. I am patient with myself. I like myself!! I am kind to myself. I take care of myself. I sleep well. I eat the foods my body needs so that it can successfully shed excess pounds. I love my body. I manage our finances well. Our wood shed is full. Our dental needs are met. I am organized and efficient. I plan well and follow through with my plans. I handle strong emotion and conflict calmly.
I am grateful this morning ...
1. The sun is shining and it is going to be a gorgeous, slightly chilly, day!!!
2. Coffee!!!! Coffee!!!! Coffee!!!!!!
3. Maxalt
4. A husband who loves me and has NEVER loved me "more" or "less" based on my weight
5. A weekend at home
Really, really am wanting that second cup of coffee!!!! LOL!!!
Have a good day/good weekend!!! I am continuing to practice kindness towards myself ... some days are more challenging than others. I've already weighed so now I am going to write it down and let it go. Choose healthy foods today, I'll be moving my body, and make sure I drink plenty of water!!! Right? Patience. It took me several months to gain these pounds ... they aren't going to disappear overnight!!! (BUT WHY NOT????????????? WAH!!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!) I'll smile ... and reframe those thoughts that are not helpful to me. I'll be my own best therapist!! Tee hee!!! Okay ... enough of this dribble ... see ya later!!!
Take care!!!
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