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Maintenance Calorie Trajectory ---> Week 22 --> Holding steady---> And, are we too health conscious?!
Nana Ellen posted a wonderful question underneath my weigh in this morn. She wrote,
"Do you think the day will ever come that FS and our diets will not consume most of our free time? Right now for me anyways I am total consumed with this sight. Looking for answers for getting healthy."
I loved this question, because I actually wrote a blog addressing this topic, and what it actually means to be ready to lose the excess weight. I will paste it here for those to read that might be interested in my perspective. I wrote it because I notice throughout my interaction with the HSM community (Half Size Me community), that members who find themselves consistently struggling end up leaving or disengaging for a while often stating they feel this whole health and weight loss journey is taking up to much of their time, and they find it's sucking the life out of other things they enjoy. Counting calories/and or macros, tracking food, or weighing and measuring what one eats just seems obsessive and all consuming for the mind.
Below are my thoughts on the matter. However, before you read it, I want to emphasize something here. For this girl, I figure I have two choices about where I focus my obsession/and or diligence over nutrition and fitness.
1) I can use the time to focus a lot of attention over making choices that will benefit this body to the greatest measure of it's health and vitality and further allows me to enjoy activities beyond the food I put in my mouth.
or
2) I can focus my obsession/diligence over all the health issues that come with carrying excess weight like, tracking blood sugars and insulin, taking high blood pressure pills, risking heart disease, fatty liver, and heart attacks.
Right now, all I manage is MS and that is just 2 pills a day and over the counter vitamins. So, for the time being I feel okay about going with choice number 1. Anyhow, read below for further elaboration. BTW, excellent question Nana! And, have a wonderful blessed week, everyone! Big hugs and lots of love!
Week 22 of weight maintenance - Holding Steady
Monday - 1686 --- Target 1698
Tuesday - 1725 --- Target 1868
Wednesday - 1686 --- Target 1698
Thursday -1964 --- Target 2038
Friday - 1686 --- Target 1698
Saturday - at Target 1349
Sunday - 1517 --- at Target
Average TDEE 1698
Blog
Readiness – Losing Weight for the Final Time
So, here I am at goal weight and many things have been buzzing through this mind, notwithstanding a few questions that deserve some serious contemplation like:
Do I think everyone who has excess weight needs to lose weight?
How did I know I was ready to embark on this journey?
How did I know it was going to be the final time?
Let’s start with the first question. Do I think every one who has excess weight, actually needs to lose weight?
No, I don’t.
Losing weight is a choice to be sure. However, that one choice entails a plethora of other choices that are going to impact one’s life on every level, and further define priorities a person may not have imagined or counted on making.
I’ve stated this before, however it needs to be stated again. We live in a very “food-centric” society. Where food might have once represented an aspect of cultural phenomena. In the Western Hemisphere, so much of life now revolves around what we eat, how much we eat, where we eat it, and who we are eating it with. Major holidays, outings with family members and friends, vacations, dating, work incentives, and activities with children are all starting to revolve around what we put in our mouths in ways most folks are not aware of, until of course one decides they want to lose weight.
When the decision to lose excess weight is made, all of these things will be called into question.
Is it more important to delay gratification and abstain from that ice cream cone, or create a special memory with a child over a double scoop of chocolate cookie dough?
Is it more important to have a small piece of Aunt Maeda’s pie, or take a whole piece for risk of offending her because calories are being counted?
Do we risk feeling ostracized and socially awkward when everybody else is enjoying the pizza bought for everyone by the “well-meaning” boss, or share a slice or two so we can share in the joy of employee appreciation day?
Better yet, what about the stressed out friend who just broke up with a partner and needs us to commiserate with their sorrow over Chinese takeout and beer? Are we unsupportive, selfish, and uncaring if we make our health a priority in these circumstances and say “I’m sorry, I’ve food prepped my dinner already”?
A common thing I see or hear from folks on a health and weight loss journey is,
“I’m starting to feel like my whole life is revolving around tracking food, counting calories, trips to the gym, and being aware of food. I don’t want my whole life to be about these things.”
And, I understand. I really do, because it is a LOT less challenging to go with the flow and eat anything we want, in any amount, and live in a society that will never question the desire to eat at any given time. And, the reality is it may very well be the joy of a person’s life to create some of their fondest memories from all the foods available. I won’t deny or judge any individual on this planet the absolute inherent right to enjoy what they eat, how much they eat, where they eat, or who they are eating it with.
If a person carrying excess weight on their health and weight loss journey has decided they genuinely do not want to make being “food aware” a priority, that is absolutely o-kay as far as I’m concerned. And, I don’t consider it a waste of time at all if one quits their “healthy habits” because at least it will be understood with absolute clarity what that individuals priorities are and that person can thus be free to genuinely focus attention on those things that do indeed bring joy.
However, I want to make something very clear in this post. There is no such thing as losing weight and not being “food aware”. There will never be a time in someone’s life in our present day culture where approaching a healthy lifestyle and weight loss will not entail putting energy into thinking about what we eat, how much we eat, where we eat, and who we are eating it with.
Please, think about that very hard.
The majority of us in the western hemisphere that have dealt with or are dealing with obesity never learned to be “food aware” in a manner that kept us at healthy sustainable weights in the same way we learned to tie our shoelaces, do our laundry, or brush and floss our teeth.
I brush and floss my teeth daily, tie my shoe laces more often than I can count, and have done laundry at least twice a month since I was 10 years old. I don’t love doing these things, but I often do them without thinking. In short, a person will never hear me say
“I feel like my whole life revolves around laundry, brushing my teeth, changing my underwear, and tying shoelaces – I just want to give it all up!”
Get my drift?
Cultivating a healthy lifestyle that includes both healthy weight loss and weight maintenance is never going to feel like an “effortless effort”. We don’t live in a society that supports that kind of approach to food, at least not in our current generation. We may see this change in the distant future. However, as it stands now, when one takes on the endeavor to lose excess weight and practice weight maintenance, it will indeed always feel like a practice that one’s life revolves around.
I accept this, it’s the choice I’ve made because being “food aware” in a manner that keeps this body at a healthy sustainable weight range further helps this girl to find joy in things beyond what she puts in her mouth. And, that is an important priority to this heart. However, this goal does not have to belong to everyone else. And, that is truly and genuinely, okay.
So, how did I know I was ready to embark and fully commit to this kind of a journey?
It’s interesting, because I didn’t consciously realize I was ready. What I can say is that all the reasons I used to continue carrying excess weight no longer brought me joy. Honestly, I was fed up with the amount of alcohol I was drinking. I didn’t even enjoy it anymore. I stopped reaping any satisfaction from food comas brought on by large portion sizes that signified what? A good conversation? One more image of food porn I might post on facebook to signify where I had just eaten? I started thinking, “what was the point?” I mean really, was a donut or a slice of pizza even a treat anymore when I’ve had it more times than I can count?
What was I getting from all of this food and sedentary lifestyle that genuinely signified joy, enlightenment, learning, connectedness, depth, love, and openness?
It all just felt old and so did this mind’s excuses for not changing.
I want to reiterate, it’s okay if one does experience joy, enlightenment, learning, connectedness, depth, love, and openness through and around food. However, something inside this girl was longing, pushing, screaming to experience something beyond it.
This mind hate’s change! However, it also has an insatiable curiosity that cannot be squelched, even in the face of its fear of the unknown. So, I may not have known I was ready, but every part of me was prepared and compelled to “act” in a manner of readiness no matter what stumbling blocks came up.
And, truthfully I still am.
Lastly, how did I know it was going be the final time I went on a “weight loss” journey?
In all truth – from this girl’s perspective, there is no such thing as “the final time”
Not one living thing in this world is exempt from fluctuation. It’s why finding a weight range is encouraged. There may be times in weight maintenance when we need to increase what we eat, or lessen portions/calories in order to maintain within a weight range that is both healthy and sustainable. The priority or goal for this girl is to try and ensure, regardless of this body’s weight fluctuations, to keep within a sustainable weight range, and be diligent about committing to the actions that help keep excess weight off.
Even as I continue on maintenance calories, there have been weeks when I have taken deficits to allot for increased calories on special occasions where calorie dense food are being served. I will likely always be doing this throughout life. Most of life, if we think about it, is a series of “checks and balances”.
However, what I will emphasize here is that ensuring excess weight is kept off is not just a decision made in one moment, but a genuine commitment to show up for this body everyday and act in a manner that helps it function to the greatest measure of its health and vitality. Anytime I’m making a choice to act in the best interests of this body’s health and over-all well being, I am ensuring this is the final time. And, ensuring this is the final time I have to take off “excess weight” is a choice that will continually have to be made until I’m six feet under or too senile to remember what healthy habits are! There’s no escaping this reality.
But, just as important to impress on the reader is that there is no one way to discover and explore what constitutes a good quality of life or health and well being. Losing weight doesn’t ensure good health, and having excess weight does not necessarily define a path of suffering or mean that one cannot find happiness and joy in their lives. It really is a personal preference of the heart.
What I can say is that letting go of excess weight has helped instrumentally to engage in activities that bring this heart a great deal of bliss. Not every being is going to find bliss in the same things I do. And, someone else’s bliss might make having excess weight irrelevant. Some might retort and say, “well yeah, but excess weight can cause all kinds of health problems that end in a short life and early death.” This may be true, but as someone with Multiple Sclerosis, I can attest to the reality that many things outside of excess weight can happen that cause health problems and result in a shortened life. And, a short life does not necessarily mean it isn’t a quality life. These things are not for any one person to decide for another. It is up to our own wise hearts to discover what our true bliss is and in what path we will find it.
Likewise, it is just as essential to remember we can change our minds at any given time. If health and weight loss is not a priority right now for the person that has excess weight, it’s o-kay. At one point, there may be an opportunity to seize the moment and make it one. Or, maybe not…
The most essential thing to remember is to ask oneself at any given moment, “what defines the quality of this heart’s life? There’s no right or wrong answer, just the one that leads to your bliss.
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