ny_shelly's Journal, 12 April 2018

Hi everyone,
I guess I come back and here and talk about this stuff in case in can help someone else with their struggle. I am supposed to go to the gym after work and do cardio but I don't feel like it. Also, I didn't eat lunch because I didn't feel like chicken.

So today for "lunch" I ate a mini kind bar and a handful of trail mix. I can feel my mind "roaming around" thinking about binge eating something after work.

I am in the "I don't feel like it mode". My boyfriend's house has all kinds of crap in it that I am not supposed to eat so I use that as an excuse to do so. Last night wasn't too bad but I ate carbs I wasn't supposed to eat which is probably why I am thinking this way today.

I know that part of my brain loves it that I ate off-plan yesterday. It just waits for a little crack in my will power so it can start up. "You don't need to work out, it's extra." "You blew it yesterday so you may as well eat whatever you want today." "A few days off won't matter." "So what if you gain a few pounds back, you probably already did because you at that other stuff. You will lose it again eventually."

I know the right answer is to just stop eating random stuff right this second. I know the right answer is to just go to the gym anyway b/c once I start on the treadmill I will do at least 20 minutes and that is better than nothing. I know that once I do some cardio I will feel better and I won't want to binge. I can go home and eat some eggs or something NOT candy, cakes, or cookies.

I know some of my buddies struggle with this same thing. We have to tell that voice that is trying to drag us down to get lost. We have to rise above this struggle and keep going so we don't have a miserable life with physical consequences due to diabetes and morbid obesity.

Stay strong friends. I will do what I said so that all of you know it's possible if you want it bad enough and don't give up.

Dang it's hard.
~Shelly

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Comments 
I needed that right now. I have been slowly creeping back into the healthier side of my brain. I was proud of myself yesterday because I did not bust the calorie count even though it was a stressful day. But today I am struggling. I haven't even restarted the exercise routine yet but I remember those days. I vote go and get it done you will feel better that you did. But I know the struggle. I have set monday for a goal and joined a challenge to exercise 30 minutes a day. Right now a little voice in my head is laughing hysterically because it knows I probably won't do it. But my intentions are good. GET ON THAT TREADMILL, PROVE YOU HAVE CONTROL OVER THE VOICES! 
12 Apr 18 by member: Berly1023
Hi Berly thanks for your answer. Yes, it's hard but you can do it too! Don't let that stupid little voice drive the bus. You are the one with the 2 hands that controls things not IT. One day at a time, one step at a time. Hugs! 
12 Apr 18 by member: ny_shelly
I enjoy your sincere approach and openness to your thoughts. Elliptical 17 minutes and some weights. Much easier to sleep ONCE I decided 17 and some lifting is better then continued hibernation. Keep pushing through...best of luck. 
12 Apr 18 by member: Terrapin12
Don't give in Shelly stay strong you can talk your way out of thinking this way. And yes your brain will thank you when you do cardio your mood lightens and you think clearly hang in there! 
12 Apr 18 by member: 8Patty
Just the fact that you are voicing it will help. Now I want you to read out loud what you just wrote. That will make a better impression to that little voice..... 
12 Apr 18 by member: clay pot baker
Thanks for those words ! Keeps me going....albeit screaming inside as well... (haha) 
12 Apr 18 by member: wright2018
get back on track!!! f the negativity!! "i never just WANT to go to the gym" but i do. so get out of that funk n get back on that horse!!! 
12 Apr 18 by member: chickenfries
That’s ok girly! Just stay strong, we are all human and all have flaws. Whenever you are faced with those cravings, just remember why you started this journey and if that food you’re about to eat is really worth it! 
12 Apr 18 by member: the ceps
you got this - and we are here for you.  
12 Apr 18 by member: tahoebrun
hi. my son once told me its easier to exercise first thing in the morning rather than waiting until u r tired. i used to have that problem plus exercise can be like cleaning briskly or gardening. hope this helps 
12 Apr 18 by member: Valerie Tibbitts
Enjoyed your post. So true! 
12 Apr 18 by member: kattay
Hi gang thank you for the encouragement and support. I went to the gym and did 15 min on the bike and 15 on treadmill. Not a lot but I did it! I came home and ate dinner. No binge eating. It wasnt perfect eating but it wasnt binge eating! Thanks everyone...you rock! 
12 Apr 18 by member: ny_shelly
Tomorrow morning is weight lifting with the trainer. 
12 Apr 18 by member: ny_shelly
it's <bleeping> hard. Its a fight ever <bleeping> day. WE... if I may use we and include everyone... WE are strong enough to do it... Strong enough to fight every day.. . Strong enough to fight through the slips... WE are strong enough because all here, near and far, are in this together in some way. Today is past, good or bad. Tomorrow is what matters.  
12 Apr 18 by member: JLente
It is hard. There is no magic fairy dust that will remove the struggle. Just get back on track. Let us know how the weight lifting goes tomorrow. All the best.  
12 Apr 18 by member: HardDaysKnight
I am SO proud of you! You went to the gym and ate well. You would be surprised how many mornings I want to skip out of the gym but I go anyway and once I start I am fine! 
12 Apr 18 by member: HCB
Nice post NYS...sometimes we get on a roll and the weight loss (or maintenance thing) is easy but often it is very, very difficult, with our Best intentions getting daily derailed by circumstances or our lack of commitment. Hope you get on a good roll soon!! 
12 Apr 18 by member: Steven Lloyd

     
 

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