mistymarie98's Journal, 17 August 2012

Today I woke up at 12:15. I got up and made some job calls, then decided to make eggs for breakfast. I realized I'm not as sick of them as I used to be, or maybe it was just a mental thing. I didn't go to bed last night thinking I'd be on SB today, it just happened that way. Sometimes it's better for me to not plan it out and just follow instinct. So that's what I'm doing.

I just signed up for a membership at PF again. I'm not working or taking classes and I've been going nuts just sitting at home feeling sorry for myself. I spend 1-2 hours a day looking for jobs and the rest of the day doing nothing productive. Sometimes I clean a little but mostly I just play FB games, watch tv and/or eat a lot of junk food. I hate the way that makes me feel. I might as well use some of the time getting back into the gym.

I'm not telling DH about the gym just yet, not sure why but I don't want to. I doubt he'd make a fuss about it, especially since I deal with all the finances. The worst he'd do is just ask if I was sure we could afford it. I guess maybe I just want to surprise him by dropping some weight and starting to look better. I'd tell him if I thought he'd go with me but he was never really interested in going with me before. He did join me a few times but it was pretty obvious that wasn't his scene.

It'd be nice to have someone to go with sometimes, even though it's hard to hold a conversation when you're out of breath on a treadmill or elliptical. But having company is always nice. My first day to go will be on Sunday while DH is at work. I'm charging and loading up my iPod now, the poor thing hasn't been used in about 6 months. I'm way behind on my Podcasts so those are downloading too.

I just know I'm going to have to ease myself back into working out if I don't want to strain my knee again. Just getting up on the treadmill and getting my body moving again is the hardest part. I hate hurting. I hate sweating. I hate fighting to breathe. But I'll be experiencing all of those things the first couple of times I'm there.

I gotta do it. I can't live like this anymore.
328.8 lb Lost so far: 0 lb.    Still to go: 168.8 lb.    Diet followed N/A.

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Comments 
OK Misty - my sister from another mother - you are on the right track! I have had all of these exact same thoughts. I have an unused PF membership. I have a husband who isn't interested in going with me. I hate the way I feel when nothing productive comes out of an entire day. I am encouraged that some cleaning chores count as exercise, so don't forget to count those calories burned too... besides, I think it's nice to see something in my home all clean, rearranged & freshened up. Another thing that has given me more positive motivation is purging my closet. I am donating something every week to charity. I am trying to roll my fitness ambitions into my daily life activities so that there will be a whole lifestyle upgrade. It sounds ominous when I say it like that, but it's not so much when I do it as I go. So what do you think? Am I nutso? Well, I really enjoyed and empathized with your post. Thanks for sharing - you have a gift for writing. Maybe you could journal your progress & write a book! woohoo! Go MistyMarie98!! ;-) 
22 Aug 12 by member: Suzanne-SA-TX

     
 

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