GlennM's Journal, 04 March 2010

My DH is a recovering alcoholic. I understand where you are coming from. Unfortunately, while alcoholics have tended to maintain their addictions with the old beliefs that it's something people don't talk about. If you ignore it - it will go away. That is the furthest from the truth. It sounds as if they have enabled him in his disease and will continue to at least until it harms them or causes them problems. It may also be that they enjoy having such "stresses" in their lives. Believe it or not, some people thrive on the destruction others make for them. You have to be willing to let it go. This IS NOT your disease. No matter how painful and saddening it is, you DESERVE so much more. And hopefully they will come around. Best wishes Glenn. 

My dad is unaware at least for now. He will learn in time. My mother was so nasty to other men involved with my younger sister before. But NOTHING bad said about this alcoholic. She's enabling it. My sister and her husband dump off my sister's ten-year-old who is a handful like she's yesterday's trash, she is ALWAYS at my mother's house even on days my sister isn't working, etc. My mother puts up with nothing from me or my twin sister but gets dumped on by my younger sister and sworn at too - which I've never done, and she doesn't say anything to her and acts like me and my twin sister are the bad ones - I have bipolar illness pretty bad, but they think I'm 100% normal.... 

Not to make light of the situation, but mental illnesses are hereditary. Are you sure they are the same? 

My mother sure has acted mentally ill in the past - her behavior would be deemed mental illness today. She's still not balanced. I see it, she can't see it in herself. My father had a bit of a breakdown at age 41, but he recovered without meds. Both have it bad enough I see it as someone who is stable on meds. Neither are right. My mom I believe is resentful her mother gave attention to my twin sister and myself as we were her mother's first grandchildren and we were twins, which weren't as common in the early 1960s. The resentment is still there, and thus her abusive behavior (no excuse for), which continues to this day, and she can make up a bunch of nonsense about it but that basically is what it boils down to I believe. My younger sister she wanted, so that is why she has always treated her better and sides with her. I'm done with it all. The best thing perhaps is three cuckoo people are out of my life - family or not, if they don't want me around I won't be...