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Dear journal and everybody. You are all great support and inspiration to me. I have seen my pattern of gaining and loosing the same pounds over and over again. I guess if you let it life can get you down and do that to you or even worse! I am loosing slowly, sometimes it speeds up, sometimes it slows down, depending on what I am doing, or in my case many times what I am not doing! I do see i need to be more active, so I can help it along. In theory it seems simple, but to put it in effect more difficult, for me many things come into my mind. I tend to over think everything, and think I cannot do it all, when I have proved to myself if i put my mind to it I can do a lot! And so can WE ALL! You cannot let life, and things, and people get you down! You deserve the success and happiness this life has to give you. Positive thinking is a hard thing but it is crucial for success, including weight loss, because it first goes to the mind and it can make it or break it as they say! I cannot speak for every one so I am just speaking for myself, but I find that I need one or two days a week to eat the normal amount of food, so I can "keep going" and, not give up! That's my main target, to "keep going". I don't want to give up on this! I know however I need to walk, including that dreaded treadmill. I know I watch T.V. but when I am by myself I feel so alone, and all the problems roll though my head. I need to get so much done in my day of my time, but I end up doing so little less than I had planned! It is very hard to juggle it all, and we all wear so many hats, so many responsibilities. I owe it to myself to be good to it and to love me more. What I dread and have seen over these past years is that I have gained and lost the same pounds over and over. There has to be some kind of spiritual problem right there with that, cause I am capable of loosing the weight. It is also learning to work with my body, cause it really thinks it is going to starve to death, no wonder with all the abuse I have done to it. So no matter how long it will take little by little I need to be hacking away and working on it! We all can see that with ourselves. I would love to help my son Nick but he needs to want this for himself as much as I want this for him, and when he does I will tend to him 100% of my time. Nick is one of the twins I am holding in my hands, he is not a baby anymore, he is about 28 years old. I hold all my kids dear to my heart for they are the soul of my existence! So we need to be good role models. We need to get that fresh produce in the house and incorporate those vegetables, which is hard for families today and their budgets. I was having a hard time to get that fresh produce on the table and never realized JUST HOW IMPORTANT IT WAS! You cannot put a price on your health, latter on we see how important that is! I am putting one foot in front of the other and I am still on that road for I will always have to struggle with my weight my whole life time, "and let's ALL DO THAT AND KEEP GOING!"
Diet Calendar Entry for 27 May 2010:
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1358 kcal
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Fat: 51.26g | Prot: 75.72g | Carb: 159.85g.
Breakfast: reduced sugar fruit spread , bread, light string cheese, Borden fat free american cheese slices. Lunch: L'oven fresh 100% whole wheat bread, Hyvee egg substitue. Dinner: ketchup, Great Value canola oil, Meat Loaf Made with Venison/Deer (fried meat balls), bread, Jif creamy peanut butter. Snacks/Other: mini tootsie pop, Ice Cream Bars - Giant Chocolate( fit&active 100 calorie fudge bar) Fudge, Strawberries, radish ( garden and organicly grown). more...
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