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24 July 2014

Weigh-in: 172.0 lb lost so far: 33.0 lb still to go: 32.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Calorie Counting!   losing 1.4 lb a week

23 July 2014

I was not really looking at myself in the mirror. Today while shopping I walked by a full mirror and was quite surprised and happy. I backed up and looked again, I couldn't believe how much I've shrunk. I am 5'1" so a little gain or loss is very noticeable. But I've lost over 30 lbs and hadn't really looked at myself, I didn't want to, or was afraid to. I'm not where I want to be. I so remember looking back at Thanksgiving and trying on a bunch of 1X tops in the mirror and being absolutely disgusted. I had to show up for Thanksgiving but I had hit an all time high of 205 and I didn't want to be seen by anyone. I was round, I looked like a fat doll baby (cupie doll)It wasn't until March 9th that I had had enough and decided I couldn't live like that anymore. I feel good, I can breathe, I can bring in groceries without almost passing out from the steps. I can bend over, tie shoes etc without pain. I have more to go and I will make it! If I feel this good now, how will I feel when I lose more? I can't wait. I can't be me, the old happy telling jokes funny me at 205 lbs. I am now at 172.8 so I have at least 30-40 more to go. It's going to take awhile but it's all worth it. Patience is not my fried LOL. I had hit a plateau while doing very well and it broke today, barely, but it broke. I'm so happy today!

22 July 2014

I'm so confused and not happy. I'm not cheating, haven't had my fave thing (Pepsi) or any pop in months. I'm not losing a thing. Scale is stuck on the same exact number every single morning. I watch my kids eat fast food and junk food and it kills me but I keep to my low cal. I was losing quite well for awhile and now it's stuck. It's so discouraging. I'm not gaining but how I feel on the inside is like I did gain. I feel so down and depressed. I live in an apt that has a pool and I refuse to go because I don't want anyone seeing me in a bathing suit. My summer has been wasted all because I can't accept myself. My so called friend likes to tell me how ignorant and stupid my feelings are about myself and my weight. I'm so close to telling her to kiss my A** I'm trying soooo sooo hard to lose this weight but it just won't budge lately. I can't do low carb, I don't like the food and will cheat, I know, I've done it in the past. Low cal is the only thing I can stick to. But It's like I'm wasting my time. Every night I go to bed thinking there will be a loss in the morning and there isn't. I'd be happy with a .2 just anything to show me that there's nothing wrong physically and that this is worth it. I still feel like the 205 lb person I was in March.

18 July 2014

Weigh-in: 173.2 lb lost so far: 31.8 lb still to go: 33.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Calorie Counting!   losing 3.6 lb a week

16 July 2014

Weigh-in: 173.4 lb lost so far: 31.6 lb still to go: 33.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well

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