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18 July 2016

Today was my mom's 65th bday, so lucky her got to take me to my preop endoscopy this morning! And then we went to IHOP. Looking back on it, we could have split everthing, instead of just splitting the bacon and hashbrowns, but it was nice to be with her, and I'm still under my calorie goal for the day. I'm going to be a little over it with drinking .5 cup of milk tonight to take my medication with, but I'm comfortable with it.

I actually felt pretty crappy after breakfast, but I think that was a mix of the sugar/fat and the sedative wearing off and my lack of sleep/caffeine (since I'm cutting out caffeine). They did find a hiatal hernia, so I'm going to start taking an acid reflux medication, and I'm sure they'll fix it if they have to during the bariatric surgery. I'm part of this awesome fb group from women who've had WLS and it's getting me SUPER excited. I can't wait to see where I am a year from now- and considering I'm the kind of person who didn't want to think about next month much less next YEAR, so this is a little exciting.
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17 July 2016

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13 July 2016

Weigh-in: 318.4 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 68.4 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (3 comments) on diet Calorie Count   losing 8.7 lb a week

10 July 2016

Ok, so, basically, I binged for almost 6 whole months. I got through January, which was decidedly the most difficult month of the year (wrks 48hours straight during the blizzard here), and I still managed t let things get to me enough to break me down.

I've made the decision to get weight loss surgery. The sleeve to be precise. Money held me back, but it's either spend the money now on that, or spend it later on BP meds, insulin, heart meds cholesterol meds, hospital stays, etc. So I've become an adult in that respect. And I had to get on the scale. I had to be honest with myself.

I've eaten 1500 calories or less the last couple of days. I know I should realistically be eating closer to 2000 to lose, but I know I'll be eating around 600-800 post-op. I really need to work on eating more protein, since that will be my focus- but for now I want to just try to eat less. I was really damn hungry yesterday (day 1), but I'm focusing on drinking more water and eating several small meals/snacks and trying to get to bed at a decent hour. I haven't been sleeping well.

Work has been hell. Clients are awful. Most of them love me and are patient and understanding, because the knowingly walked into an emergency animal hospital and have to assume theirs is not the only pet being treated, but some of them? Man, some of them can fucking blow me. I always take responsibility for my actions and hold myself accountable for my mistakes. I work my ass off and smile all the time, but you can't help some people's attitudes, and after 3 last night, I started to wonder if it's me, and if I suck at my job, and if I need a new career already. It makes me want to both smoke and eat. I quit smoking in February (coincidentally the same time I started bunging...) and I'm trying to change my relationship with food. My job is hard for this, and I still have fear that post-op I wont be able to. I just know that my new sleeved stomach will be a tool and hopefully one that will help me learn how to do this.

Anyway, it's 1am and I have to work again tomorrow. Night y'all.
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08 July 2016

Weigh-in: 324.6 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 74.6 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet Calorie Count   gaining 2.4 lb a week

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