MightyFull's Journal, 07 December 2017

This time of year is so hard and my willpower falters a lot. I'm really hoping that if I can keep up with exercise and eating healthy most of the time, that I will at least counter some of the junk that I know will come into my life. Cookie baking will be coming soon, so I know that I will have a lot of temptations then. 

I hate to admit years ago I have gone into the inside trash can to retrieve candy, but putting it in the outside can is a good idea. Hopefully I won't get back at that stage again. But it is a constant battle. 

Getting rid of it is the only way I survive. Reese Cups, Baby Ruth's, and Twix are my downfall. 

I once found myself taking a brownie out of the trash in my kitchen. Disgusting. After that, when I threw something like that out I would squirt dish washing liquid on it so that I could not retrieve it and eat it....I truly believe the experts when they say...Sugar is more addictive than cocaine. 

I've thrown out so many bad things that just can't be in the house! Crackers, cereal. Normally I'll eat the candy - don't think I've ever thrown out candy bars, but I will give them away. Last year I bought Claim Jumper pies during the holiday season. Twice I took 3/4 pies to my sister and brother in law who have a home just a couple blocks away. 

Watching the home health care nurse rebandage my sister-in-law's foot has convinced me to avoid sugar. I have pictures of the wounds, the gangrene, and the amputations. Sugar is a poison that we do not need. It is addictive and uses the same receptors as heroin. One of my sisters gave me sugar-free candy as a gift this year. Artificial sweeteners have the effect of throwing me out of ketosis, and reigniting sugar cravings, so I am regifting it to those who think such things are OK. Do not think that I am someone with iron will. NO, after about fifty years of giving in to temptation, I finally found what does it for me!  

I’m one of those who craves sugar regardless of my knowledge of how bad it is for me or how long it has been since I have eaten it or how full I am at the time. When I go out to dinner the first thing I look at one the menu/table are the beautiful pictures of desserts. I don’t know why I torture myself but it is all I really want. I am an addict. All I want is to be normal and capable of having a treat every so often. I think it must be similar to being an alcoholic. As several have already said, I’ve found myself digging in the trash for a brownie. I’d already had the willpower to throw it out but didn’t have enough not to shamefully dig it back out. I got to where I would spray bug spray on sweets in order to stay away from them and sadly I was still tempted. Now I don’t eat any sweets and it helps. I just know that if I break down and have 1 cookie I will eat the entire package. No matter what I do I can’t stop myself.