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ZippyDani's Journal, 24 January 2013
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2/10 of a lb? OK, I'll take it. Slightly let down, but at least it's SOMETHING. I'm still on the right track and that helps. I'm happy that I was able to sleep without the help of NyQuil last night. Just took me a while to get to sleep once ready and in the bed. Had to do that minus the fuzzy boys, though. They are lovey and sweet, but damn those nocturnal UFC fights of theirs! Once I'm back to not needing much help after hitting the pillow, they'll be let back in the room.
In the thick of ending a toxic relationship and every day now just dreading another text from him. (not hubby of course, just a former work buddy) Yesterday he sent TWO, including the ever popular "are you mad at me?" text. I had 2 of my good friends give me advice to completely ignore the texts, because it'll only lead to more and more and more. Meant to inquire about blocking the number, just got busy and forgot to call. Most friends, either work, school or otherwise, will text or e-mail without expectation of some reply, or if you text them back that something is up or you're having a day, will reply with thoughts of sympathy or solidarity. Not this person, and that is when I realized that whatever 'relationship' there is is entirely one-sided in his favor. When my uncle passed, there was no "I'm sorry", no "tell me when you're available again" or "Ok, talk when you can" but just a continuation of HIS agenda, including the DAY OF the funeral. When I got to the car after the service and before the cemetery, I had gotten yet another of his "I think I'm so cute n funny" texts, so from that day on I've ignored the texts. Not a single answer, and it's been 1-3 texts per day at least. I have never met this person IN PERSON, just know him from a former job and he was in a different city and state just him (and other teams) calling periodically to escalate an issue to my team. We were friendly then, but it escalated just recently into him flirting HEAVILY via text. Since changing jobs 4 years ago, I hadn't actually talked to him, I know very little about him except his marital/familial status, so the fact that I'm having to cut him off the way I am leaves me no guilt in the way I feel. I'm just ready for the guy to finally understand "Maybe she's not going to reply" and move on. I've come to a point in my life, I'm going to be 42 in March, I have a husband who loves me, kids who need my time and energy, family and friends that I enjoy talking to and can hang out with and go do things with, I do NOT have the time and energy for self-serving people, or people I don't really have an interest in dealing with (other work people who have tried to friend me on FB). I've started paring down my friends list in FB and already ignored a couple requests from folks I just no longer have an interest in or any reason for association. I don't HAVE TO be nice to everybody, especially when I know firsthand how toxic these people actually ARE. Negative remarks, little care outside their small self-involved worlds, and will bring all those associated down with them. I don't need that energy. I have good positive-energy people in my life and friends list that deserve the energy I'd waste on those Negativos. A small part of me feels a small bit of guilt for being a bitch, but then I remember what a difference I've felt since declaring my independence from that kind of person, and I get over the guilt. I've never been confrontational, it gives me stress. I know sometimes it's necessary and even a good thing, but in these types of situations, it's not worth the time or energy. No good will come from entertaining them. So I'm not going to. I have enough on my plate with my insane 4 year old and moody teen! And they're FAR more important to deal with.
So here I am, rambling, listening to good music and hoping to get my work done in a reasonable amt of time (and wasting some, too-SHH). Hadn't expected to write so long on such a non-topical reference, but I guess it's relevant to me at the moment. Now I'm just wishing it was 4pm on Friday....
Thankful for:
logic over emotion (sometimes)
the positive forces in my life
Hub
Kids
Pets
VEGGIES
good movies and music
LAUGHTER... lots and lots of laughter
Happy Thursday FS!!
Diet Calendar Entries for 24 January 2013:
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1114 kcal
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Fat: 22.35g | Prot: 86.33g | Carb: 148.95g.
Breakfast: Skinny Mocha (Venti), Orange Carrot Breakfasty. Lunch: Smoked Ham, Deli Sliced Gouda Cheese, Chicken Tenderloins. Dinner: Veggie/Fruit juice, Mediterranean Spinach & Chickpea Patties, Sweet Potato Julienne Fries. Snacks/Other: water, Organic Strawberries. more...
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1957 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Walking (exercise) - 3.5/mph - 45 minutes, Resting - 15 hours and 15 minutes, Sleeping - 8 hours. more...
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 Comments
I'm a fee years older than you and I did the SAME thing! I cancelled my fb, and quit calling our returning texts from toxic people# I feel much better, but now I need to replace them with good people like all my buddies from fs! glad you have your family! I did start up my Facebook but blocked those people from seeing me and only have family on out and don't do on much, gb van nee a very negative head trip got me, Jane a great day. oh, there is an app for ignoring texts, you can even set an auto response for specific numbers, like F off, but I never did that haha, I had a psycho x who needed to be put on his place and it worked!
24 Jan 13 by member: Lizzygracemusic
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Sounds like a good plan to help make your life happier! I also hate confrontation, and am still working on the fact that I don't have to make everybody happy and like me all the time. I have been a people-pleaser my entire life and it's really hard to change that. But I'm working on it! I just remind myself that what I want and how I feel matters too! Hope you get your good night's sleep back soon, they say adequate sleep aids in weightloss too. :)
24 Jan 13 by member: hollipop
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Thanks ladies!! There have been moments where I want to reply and say something like "No texts for 2 weeks and you STILL don't get the hint?? GO AWAY" but that will just invite more texts, so then I ping one of my "trusted advisors" and they strengthen my resolve. It's just insane, my 4 year old is less self-involved! None of us have to make other's happy. It's something we've learned to do. So I'm concentrating on meeting my needs and the needs of my husband and kids. Anyone above and beyond that should feel honored, including my own sisters. But, like NORMAL people, they understand that I have my own life. Others don't always get it.
Yes, proper sleep can help make the losses a little easier, more successful, I've read that too. I just haven't really seen it PROVEN, but I'll take the medical profession's word on that.
24 Jan 13 by member: ZippyDani
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