ny_shelly's Journal, 05 April 2016

I ate like a pig yesterday. I let the scale get the better of me. I got on there and it said I gained 6 lbs which really was totally impossible. I know it was impossible - it had to be water weight.

I let it get me.

I can't even type what I wrote...aweful.

Well, all I can say is the whole day I thought to myself, "Why am I doing this, I'm not even enjoying this." "This is stupid".

This is different because usually I am in heaven during a binge. Also I didn't move on to candy like I normally do. Or Cookies or any sweet stuff. Oh yeah, ok I did eat a hershey pie from BK.

Good grief.

I think I psyched myself out reading a couple books. One was that "Bulletproof Diet". Then on the other extreme was "You can eat half a cookie" or something like that. Well I gotta quit reading all these books and just stick to paleo/atkins type thing. By the time I got done reading Bulletproof I thought all I should be eating is an avocado covered in ginger and turmeric. I see the guys point of the book but I am not ready for that level of extremity. It was information overload.

The other book was mindfulness book how you can eat half a cookie, for example, and then just put it down. Eat anything you want and stop after a taste. OK well, again, I see the point but I am not at that level yet.

I have a perfectionist personality and these kinds of books just serve to make me think I am doing everything wrong. I am just going to stick to my macro plan and do the best I can.

Diet Calendar Entry for 05 April 2016:
299 kcal Fat: 22.81g | Prot: 19.51g | Carb: 2.93g.   Breakfast: Scrambled Egg. more...

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Comments 
I did this all my life and I am finally at the healthy weight- says my doctor- It took my 20 years! I finally find that this Paleo diet thingy works best for me and no SUGAR! I stopped cakes, frosting, gooey carmel and chocolate, still miss it but feel so good not eating the sugars.. the fat in coffee i do because it does keep me full .. i guess eating fat like butter , coconut , whipping creme.BACON ect does keep you from feeling hungry.. I got this book called" I quit eating sugar " kind of motivated me to change my thoughts about SUGAR.. It's a killer and can cause plenty of health issues..... 
05 Apr 16 by member: jdeuster
Hi Shelly, I just wanted to commend you on acknowledging your problem. However, that was yesterday and I know that today you can do something good for yourself. We can do this!! 
05 Apr 16 by member: BeaugezD
If you fall off, get back on! This works for horses, bicycles and diets.  
05 Apr 16 by member: Bonnybelle
HI THERE...I HEAR YOU!!!!! I used to suffer like this all the time. Perfectionist, A type person with eating disorders and addicted to dieting!!!!! I have been on every diet, still own a multitude of books on every type of diet, and still working on it...but more sanely...I finally saw a psychologist who specialized in eating disorders and with honesty and help, I learned how to eat....You will find your way...good luck. Sometimes the more I read the more obsessed I became...I cannot exclude a particular food or eat only certain things...it sets me up for bingeing or failure. I have tried to eat what I want, whether it is an apple or toast for example, and truly enjoy it...stop when I am full and move on. I do agree with Jdeuster...cutting out or waaaaaaaaaay back on sugar helps in many ways. GOOD LUCK! 
05 Apr 16 by member: iulani
I do not follow Dave Asprey's diet either - I just do the coffee. He is totally extreme. Have you looked at the website about low carb high fat? It is really simple and encouraging. www.dietdoctor.com 
05 Apr 16 by member: HCB
I hear you on the perfectonist thing as well. I completely agree with everything Lulani said. The feelings of constantly needing to check the rules to get everything 100% correct...or going to the other side of demand resistance..those will derail me every time.  
05 Apr 16 by member: Vickie 5966
I like your honesty here. I also have these same personality traits.... Addiction to food...perfectionist. Discovering ourselves is an important part of our journey. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and get back on the horse. You are just starting and you need the mental fortitude and commitment to achieve even the smallest goal. Your post really struck a chord in me. I don't want to lose you and your insights from FS. 
05 Apr 16 by member: Sarah1950
it is true that the scale numbers can be demoralizing, even if in your mind you know them to be invalid. I've seen many depressed ' entire days' after weighing i, not expecting the results after efforts - days that will never come back, in a limited time on this earth....  
06 Apr 16 by member: NowIunderstand
OK Shelly - it has been over 10 days now and we have not heard from you - - - how is it going???? 
22 Apr 16 by member: skydiverjim
I echo skydiverjm's sentiment! How are you doing? 
22 Apr 16 by member: NowIunderstand
You're learning - the difference you noticed in what you ate on your off plan day (yeah, I know, you didn't plan it) shows that even with that you've made progress. I appreciate your post - I think I get into that same issue about not doing everything right but never connected it to my perfectionism.  
22 Apr 16 by member: trackin64
SHELLY, COME BACK! 
22 Apr 16 by member: trackin64
Try reading Forever Fat Loss by Ari Whitten. I think there is some good advice in that one. 
22 Apr 16 by member: CatHerder
When I first started out, I stuck 100% to my eating plan. People would offer me food that I couldnt eat, and tell me that I could "have a bite." I didnt allow myself a bite because I would spin out of control. Just have to do whats best for you! 
22 Apr 16 by member: xohhjeez
Dave Asprey is kind of an extremist, but I do drink the BP Coffee as my morning start and I like it. 
22 Apr 16 by member: HCB
Perhaps this meditation book would be more helpful for a "perfectionist?" -- http://www.amazon.com/Radical-Acceptance-Embracing-Heart-Buddha/dp/0553380990/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1461366995&s 
22 Apr 16 by member: jimmiepop

     
 

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