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01 April 2015

They say motivation wears off.. so does showering. That's why they recommend doing it regularly. That's why I'm doing daily motivations to myself. Today's motivation is... tractor jiggle. We aren't a big gigantic corporation. We are a small, stuggling family farm with only about 150 cows and calves combined. The newest tractor is as old as I am so there is no A/C. Not only that the big monster tractors needed to do things like chisel plow have a cab with windows that only open a teeny tiny bit.. and no A/C. On a hot day you'll find yourself half naked drenched in sweat by the end of a field. Soggy undies? Not pleasant. Soggy gigantic panties.. I don't even want to imagine. It can't be good. That much cotton soaking up sweat? Eee Gag! Heck maybe motivation should be soggy sweaty panties. If you get lucky enough to do something that doesn't require alot of horse power then you can get one of the little tractors with no cab... Then you have to deal with tractor jiggle. Fields are not smooth.. old tractors don't drive smoothly. There will be massive jiggling in places you didn't know jiggled. I really don't want to see this amount of jiggle! I also don't want the neighbors to see all this jiggle. No.. just no. So today I'm motivated by the possiblity of giant sweaty panties and tractor jiggle... in public... where people can see me!

I seem to have the eating on track. I'm staying within 1600 calories. Working out.. I could do better. The kids are a huge distraction but I distracted them to the barn last night and stacked hay after doing chores. Still.. not enough. I need to get back to the gym. I want to actually sweat and feel sore. I can't get back to the gym until I stop nursing though... Peanut is 7 months. Still no teeth. I said I would stop when there was teeth. Plus he's a peanut so I'm not inclined to stop just because I want to workout. I suppose this means for the next few months I need to get inventive so today I'm setting goals and rewards for myself. I'll update this as I go. Any suggestions let me know!

1. Be able to do 100 pushups without stopping.
2. Be able to squat 100 lbs and still walk the next day.
3. Run a 5K.
4. Master a 5 minute plank.
5. Be able to do a pullup. Without assistance.. or a chair.

31 March 2015

Today's motivation is brought to you by.. chocolate covered nipples. At least they look like chocolate covered nipples. They're some sort of old fashioned cherry cream candy thing that resembles chocolate covered nipples and a co-worker is slowly tempting me with them because I think she wants to see my butt look wider than my office chair. Wait.. Hold on. Yup my butt still fits on the chair so she must want it to get wider and hang over. Anyways about the candies.. They're fabulous! I've probably just eaten my entire calorie count for the entire day by eating two. I will find out shortly after I continue to form my co-workers plot in my head. Sure she seems all nice and sweet offering me candy but really she's evil. Introducing me to new candies and making something that looks so ehhh into something that makes me want to shove them in my mouth like a hampster hoarding nuts? That's just evil. She also fed me brownies made with almonds and dried cherries last week that were a slice of freaking heaven. She's obviously plotting against me! Love her to bits but she's obviously evil. Yup yup. Gotta be. Or she likes hearing me make food sex noises in the next cube. *gasp*

Anyways.. I managed to exercise for 10 minutes last night on the elliptical before the baby turned into a howler monkey and little man became a sugar high monster that I'm not positive but I think he climbed walls. According to the preteen he climbed walls and his head started twirling around as he screamed COOOOOOOOOKIE!!!!!! Then tried to climb into the cabinet to get his own. I had hoped to workout more after the kids feel asleep but they won. By the time they fell asleep I feel asleep. Tonight will be better.. I hope. Still 10 minutes is better than 0 minutes. :) Calories even came in at 1600. At this rate I could succeed! I just have to put up signs that read "don't feed the co-worker" around my cube. It works at zoos. It could work here.

30 March 2015

Today's motivation is brought to you by Crack. Not crack crack butt crack. Which I apparently like to show these days. You know that pair of jeans that fit perfectly, hung kinda low on the hips but was slimming, didn't create a muffin top, and felt great?? Well when you're about 10 lbs over what you were when you purchased them they punish you by showing your butt crack. Ok maybe it's 20 lbs over.. I'm not sure. All I know is my feelin sexy jeans have turned me into an obscene office worker who moons everyone every time the copier runs out of paper.. or when I sit.. or when I drop a stack of papers and I have to bend over or squat in the hallway to pick them up. At a certain point I was contemplating just laying down on the floor with them to pick them up when the breeze from the door went directly down my butt crack. I can't be sure who opened the door.. I decided if I just avoided eye contact then the entire incident didn't happen. So.. today's motivation is Crack.

I've decided I am going to A) Only eat 1500-1600 calories. B)Workout on the elliptical for at least 30 minutes 5 days a week. and C)Squat till I question the meaning of living and discover why so many people who obviously can't still attempt to wear skinny jeans. I'm hoping for a 10 lb drop by the end of April. If I follow this plan.. I can do it. Eventually the squats will eliminate my ability to get food to shove in my pie hole so all in all.. I think this is an excellent plan. I will even throw in some planks and other stuff as I decide how I want to torture myself.

I can do it! Some day I will have my feelin sexy pants back.. that is if I don't stretch them out in some hidious way.. Or tear out the back attempting to pick up anything else. There's at least a 50/50 chance I will have feelin sexy pants back.

30 March 2015

Weigh-in: 187.1 lb lost so far: 3.9 lb still to go: 62.1 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   add comment on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 0.2 lb a week

27 March 2015

Ok.. some of you may do this. That's fine. I just don't get it. Maybe it's because I constantly slip and fall into plates of food. Or I slip and fall asleep before my feet think of getting on the elliptical. I dream about it though.. does it count if I dream about it? Anyays. Someone help me to understand the whole counting deal? A girl at work who I will call the Pink Excited Squirel counts the days she has been on her diet. She's on day 2,184. Yes. 2,184. Apparently I missed day 2,000 when she threw a party for herself. I've only recently been informed of the day counting so I didn't know to stop by her cube to celebrate. Darn it.

Now I'm all about the whole 30 day challenges or 100 day committments.. mostly because I like to count down or up to the end of the torture. I can even see how counting could be motivating in the whole I have a streak and I don't want to break it. It could be motivating.. I don't know. I don't seem to be able to make it more than 5 days without falling and landing on food or having a cute little tiny human go "Here momma!" Because they know if they bribe me I'm puddy in their hands.

Well.. in the course of writing this post I got a 3.5% raise from the job I hate that i was thinking about leaving but now I make even more so it's going to be tougher to leave, the skid steer broke and it's a $2000 fix, the accountant called and the farm hand is claiming only a protion of what we paid him and the accountant is concerned, the amish were coming to get a giant bale of hay but the snow slid off the state barn and hubby can't get it out and he's amish so he can't call him to tell him not to come so he wants to know if he should leave him a note then go get the parts to fix the skid steer which he needs to move the snow (it's ALOT of snow) but if he makes him mad he may not buy anything else and those poor horses pulling that giant wagon!... the last part was me not hubby.

All this.. last 20 minutes. I have now created chinese pizza in my mind. I'm thinking if you put orange chicken or general taos on top of a pizza it could be pretty darn good. Must stay strong!! No chinese pizza. No chinese, no pizza. No brownies the size of my head. It's Day 1! Why? No clue. Maybe I should just see if I can get to Day 6.

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