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23 October 2014

I can't pee!!! Well I could pee. If I could sit. Just another bit of proof that I'm going downhill fast. I did 50 squats yesterday. Today?? I can't sit. It's either going to kill me going down or kill me attempting to get up. Whichever it is.. I can't pee because I can't sit and I'd never be able to get back off the toilet if I did. And well... I don't want to spend the rest of my life in the bathroom at work.

Who knew you could get out of shape so fast??? Then I did the math and it's been about 11 months since I've lifted weights. Sure I still milk cows every once in a while but not like I used to. Now that hubby has the extra help in the barn I spend my nights chasing kids, arguing over veggies, and screaming at them to stop screaming. Although.. last night my quiet, teeth clenched, deep voiced "The next person who screams IS GOING TO BED." Did seem to work better than the typical "inside voices" "be quiet" "SHUT UP".

I guess is serves me right. I smirked when I read my challenge. Plank.. crunch.. pushup.. and squat? Ha! Easy Peasy. NOT! And I'm suppose to increase the squats and crunches by 5 each day?? The pushup by 1.. and the plank by 5 seconds?? Every day?? For 30 days?? HOW!?!?! *smacking head* I just want to be able to sit and pee!

As for everything else in my dieting world. I want a poptart and I want it bad. *smacking head*

21 October 2014

Oooh looky me!! Ok.. maybe I need to stop talking to the little man as much. Instead of me teaching him to talk properly he's teaching me to talk like a toddler. Still.. OOOOH Looky me!! The scale is finally listening to me and going in the direction I told it to go. At least something is listening to me and doing what I asked. No one else in the house does this. Except maybe the dogs.. if I have food in my hands. If there is no food in my hands I might as well give up that battle too.

In an effort to avoid front butt, bat wing arms, muffin top and a butt shelf I decided to attempt something I saw on Pinterest. It's a 30 day challenge of squats, planks, crunches and pushups. You see how many you can do the first day then increase them each day by a certain number. Today.. is day 1. I'll post what I can do later.. as I do them.. around the office when my boss isn't looking. You know if I attempt to do this at home I will either be tackled, hugged/wet kissed into submission, interrupted with demands of ____, crowded off the free floor space with "Looky me!!!" or possibly run over by a remote control tow truck that was too precious to go outside and now does racecar type laps around my dining room table. Honestly I'm scared. I went from doing 75 lb squats at the gym to pregnancy.. to well.. I'm scared. Heck a 1 minute plank kicked my butt. Supposedly I could work myself up to a 5 minute plank doing this.. is that even humanly possible?? That's like saying the dimples on my butt will some day disappear. Maybe that should be a diet goal.... I will lose enough weight that the dimples on my butt disappear. That seems lofty though. It's like the dieters that say my first goal is to lose 100 lbs. So my first goal is to eliminate any signs of front butt... and stop hiding candy in the center console of my car because it was the only hiding spot the kids wouldn't find it.. inhale it.. then run circles around me.

I wonder if fitness challenges on Pinterest turn out better than some of the other crafty ideas they have that turn into wet soggy messes of poop.

Day 1
Plank: 60 seconds
Crunch: 25
Push-Up: 5
Squats: 25

21 October 2014

Weigh-in: 191.2 lb lost so far: 0 lb still to go: 66.2 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (5 comments) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   losing 1.0 lb a week

20 October 2014

I've been scared straight. I will exercise and I will diet. I managed only 20 minutes on the elliptical yesterday but I managed it. Tonight I will manage more.. with crunches.. and planks.. and burpee.. and tossing small children in the air. I will do it.. or.. I will develop a front butt. I don't want a front butt. My sister has a front butt.... I think they may be genetic.. or the result of having multiple children and not wearing a girdle.. well the girdle is out and the kids are already here so I'm working my ever lovin front butt off.

Over the weekend I was lazy. It was cold and rainy and just icky. So I put on a t-shirt, some yoga pants and curled up on the recliner with squirt and a book. I don't know why but I happened to look down. Maybe it was because I was sitting on my foot or maybe its because my undies were too tight and they had slipped down. I dont know.. but I swear there was the start of a front butt. Not a pooch. Not a cute little gut. A front butt. You know what I'm talking about... you've seen them! Not that I'm judging anyone with them.. I just don't want one.

It's my new motivation to eat right and exercise.. although I did pitifully this morning after grabbing a bagel on the way out the door. But I haven't gone to the vending machine or trolled around the office for free candy bowls so.... it's progress. It isn't OOOH LOOK AT ME! progress but hey.. it' a baby step.

16 October 2014

Did you know you can put a diaper on a chicken? They also have saddles though I'm not entirely sure who is riding the chicken.. or why they would need a saddle. Chickens just don't look all that sturdy to me. I know this because I was looking into chickens thinking hey.. I could raise chickens then I wouldn't have to buy eggs anymore! Then I saw a link to chicken accessories and it was there that I discovered some people have house chickens.. that they put diapers on. I'm kind of done with the whole hey I should raise chickens idea now. Chicken people seem to be just slightly stranger than cat ladies and I'm already losing it. I don't need any help. Don't believe me? Go to MyPetChicken.

It's probably just as well since I'm attempting to modify my diet with more protein and less processed carbs. If I started raising chickens I might not be able to eat them. I'm hoping this will keep me from wanting to snack every 2 hours. So far so good! Then again.. it's only been 7 hours and sugar is my crack. This afternoons mid-day slump should prove to be entertaining if I can keep my head off my keyboard and don't end up drooling slumped against some wall. Maybe I should be attempting this on a day where I've had more than 2 hours of sleep but really?? What fun would that be??

Exercise last night consisted on a steady pat pat, jiggle, dance move. 2 month checkup for squirt ending up with 3 shots. He wasn't happy. Then little man got jealous so I added a degree of difficulty balancing 30 lbs on one hip and 10 lbs on the other. Hopefully tonight can include something else.. like planks or pushups or the elliptical. I have made it back to a 60 second plank but it's downright ugly. And jiggly. And.. I better stop before I start craving jello.

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