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03 August 2016

Work has decided that fatsecret is a porn site and blocked it. Do you think it was my boob moon comment that sent IT over the edge? Today was a good day. Thanks to Robert making me completely paranoid I have taken 26 pictures of the back of my neck since I can't see what it looks like. Interesting factoid. If you work in an office with a giant glass wall looking out into cube land and you take repeated pictures of the back of your neck people stop making eye contact. I would wonder what they thought but I'm practicing being shameless thanks to a book by Brene Brown. Only.. my loan from the library ends tonight and I'm only 1/3 of the way through the book so I'm probably doing this completely wrong. If I am don't tell me. Being shameless is entirely too much fun. I'm taking this advice as permission to lose most of my filter in real life. Imagine this journal.. only in person by a person who takes pictures of the back of their neck because they are paranoid of a spider bite that may or may not be killing them and may or may not have eggys.

On the bright side we got a new cow and calf called Red and Red Spot. The boys are in love with the calf. Exercise tonight was helping 4 and 2 yr old boys taking a calf on a walk up and down the barn floor. I'm not entirely sure the calf enjoyed it a lot but the boys did and keeping the calf out of the milk cows got me moving.

There is now a kid climbing my leg so I have to wrap this up. Today was good. Lesson of the day be shameless and if you live in upstate ny DO NOT get the book from the library. I need to renew my audio book... Good stuff though. If you live in another state go for it and get it. Also if you want a lesson in patience, don't mind having your toes crushed, and feel like jumping behind cows with their tails up because the kids are squealing "THE COW IS PEEING ON HER!!" Go take a calf for a walk up and down a barn floor in the middle of milking. On a side note. My husband deserves an award for being patient with all of us because when you take a calf into a barn full of milk cows every girl has to get a look at the cute lil baby. :)

02 August 2016

I slipped the teeniest, tiniest bit last night and an oreo and a handful of M&Ms made it into my mouth. Immediately got back on track and didn't turn it into an excuse throw in the towel for the.. 26 minutes I was still awake. I know exactly what did it. I was sore. The kids were delighted by my sobs of "just go to bed"! And my husband insisted he would love me spider eggs and all but he would not suck out the spider eggs. Seriously? This falls short of my romance novel love scene. When I finish my fiber farting, edible thong romance story there is going to be a man willing to suck out spider eggs in it. Grossed out yet? Me too!! Apparently so was the husband because he patted my butt and left the room after loving me spider eggs and all.

Two nights ago I became the main course for a common house spider. My neck was apparently his favorite spot because I have a handful of bites there. All of them seem fine except for the one that is on a nerve because it hurts and it's swollen and I swear it's the size of a baseball but my husband says it's the size of a small marble and supposedly contains no eggs but he still won't attempt to suck any out if they actually did exist. Yes these are the types of conversations we have and yes we have been married for 5 years now.

Anyways.. ice packs seem to be a minor fix but then the kids thought ice packs were cool and they wanted to put them on their butts. *reminder to self - buy new ice pack on the way home* Stess of a sort had me at an oreo and a handful of m&ms before I passed out in the middle of my "I'm gonna kill that bugger" spider hunt where I used myself as bait. Ok.. I told my husband our children were robots and ice pack stealing aholes that never sleep and.. then passed out leaving him to deal with the last tiny human who had declared dad is his favorite and then set up camp next to him on the couch.

On the bright side. I did manage 15 minutes on the elliptical, 15 minutes of milking cows when the water pump overheated, and chased tiny humans who had stolen my ice pack. That pretty much cancelled the food slip. Also I'm back on track today without a single slip despite temptation being thrown at me left and right. My new motto is "I deserve better." I deserve to treat myself better, I deserve a smaller butt, I deserve to fit back into my cute work clothes, and I deserve to wake up at 3am to get child X a Y without walking through the house like a cow just ran me over. Oh and if I make it through an entire month without peaking at a scale. I deserve a freakin medal. I never knew how addicted I was to the scale until I said no scale for a month. 23 days to go!

01 August 2016

I have boob moons. I decided to run errands today over lunch which equals me running around Walmart like a crazy lady getting everything we ran out of over the weekend that will keep in the car until I get home. Running around like a crazy lady in a slightly form fitting t-shirt equals... boob moons. Which wouldn't be a problem if I wasn't back at work. Luckily I have a shirt that goes over the slightly form fitting t-shirt so I am now forming pit moons to cover up my boob moons in hope that there will be no moon in the near future because I have one of those tiny fans on my desk. Now that I think about it I look like my ex menopausal boss hovering in front of a tiny neon pink fan, only hers was white and I don't believe she owned anything neon or pink. I seriously need to get healthier. I don't remember sweating this much when I was healthier. Maybe it's because I wasn't wearing two shirts in hopes of hiding my front bump because the tent method always hides a front bump. At least that's what I now tell myself.

I don't want to jinx myself but in spite of the full moon going on today I seem to have found my mojo. Yesterday was good despite the kids being carb monsters and literally sprinkling me with dorito dust or shoving half eaten slightly soggy on one side cookies at my face. Today I resisted an English muffin soaked in cheese. Breakfast at work was sausage egg and cheese muffins so I ate my sausage and egg and them smashed the rest in the bottom of my garbage can. Last week? Last week I said.. no no muffin. I'll just nibble off the cheese. Eh.. it's only a muffin.. I ate the muffin. Today? No muffin! I seems I have a budding willpower! I have know idea where it has been hiding but I've missed it.

Food plan is just log what I eat. I cannot plan to save my life. This may explain why I am a hot mess running around crazy lady. So far so good. I just have to make sure I have plenty of food I should be eating around me.

On a slightly different side note.. Fatsecret wants me to weigh in now. But I promised I would only weigh once a month. I won't weigh in again until the 25th to keep my mind on what I should be eating and doing and basing everything on a number. Yesterday I almost failed.. I use the scale as an extra inch to reach the socks in the bottom of the washer which is part of our bathroom/laundry room. I realized and hoped off before a number appeared.. then I washed the socks again. :) We will have very very clean socks by the time the 25th comes around. Yes I'm crazy. Yes I know I'm crazy. No I have no plans on seeking help anytime soon. I like my crazy.

30 July 2016

First chance to journal today. I think I'm doing pretty well. My husband is helping and he doesn't even realize it. He sent me a sweet text yesterday that reminded me of the text that he would send when we first started dating. He doesn't realize it but it made me pause. I want to be the best I can be for myself and this man who still loves me 5 yrs and 2 kids later. He puts up with all my strange habits, weird questions, and me screaming at the kids because they are driving me insane and their about as organized as a herd of cats. Seriously.. I'm the crazy lady at the grocery store muttering to myself "just wait till we get home". Heck we've even made it through major home improvement projects.

So today.. it's low carb, zero sugar, plenty of veggies and good foods. No more of this crap. I didn't make a meal plan because making a meal plan on a Saturday is like trying to predict the weather using a pine cone. It would just add more stress. Today I'm gonna be a cowgirl, put my big girl boots on, and milk some cows.

29 July 2016

Well... yesterday was a bust. All logged and accounted for but a bust. Today? I've already forgotten my lunch at home and have chosen to ignore my ban on caffeine because if I don't have a cup of coffee I will be drooling onto my keyboard at work in less than 5 seconds. I'm not sure I understand the suggestion to ban caffeine at this point. Why? Is it suppose to even out your sugar or just make you so mellow and tired that eating seems like too much effort? I should google this. I'm pretty sure I would get 3 million different opinions on the matter since I've already seen pro caffeine suggestions in the past. To caffeinate or drool.. and probably wake myself up snoring loudly at work because according to the husband I now snore.. loudly.

Today's plan is:
Breakfast: Eggs and sausage at work
Lunch: Pulled pork and a side.. Not sure what the side is. It all depends on what the cafeteria serves.
Dinner.. preteen has a game at 5:30 and the last time she had a game it was dinner at the ice cream stand because I was pissy the thing lasted 2.75 hours and the boys were whiney because they hadn't eaten.. it was bad. Think major melt down + grumpy mom. So tonight I'm getting smarter and it's my forgotten chicken salad and melon spears. It's already packed so I can take it with and shovel food into my face while the other moms watch.
Snack: Hmm... no clue. Either a leftover atkins bar in my drawer or if I can hold out carrot sticks from home.

I need a t-shirt that says "Hot mess coming through." Today I am motivated by getting healthier so I can claim my husband now snores the loudest, making my ankles and legs like me more, reducing the belly roll that has become my nemesis, being fit enough to run after a motorized gator going full speed down the hill in the hay field, and the number 6 because that's the only number I got right on the powerball last night. I'm gonna slurp my coffee now.

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