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21 September 2018

There is pecan pie in the cafeteria. WHY is there pecan pie in the cafeteria?? It's not anywhere close to thanksgiving and I'm trying to eat low carbish, no sugarish, whole food, no carbage. I'm pretty sure pecan pie isn't any of those things. So why??? WHY??? Evil cafeteria people. Anyways... I'm resisting by eating cauliflower which in no way resembles pecan pie. I went to the gym too. If it weren't for yesterdays mini melt down I could be a life coach.

Yesterday didn't go so well. I had an appointment at 1 for a minor procedure. Totally normal. Millions of women have had this done. It didn't keep me from waking up a few dozen times after finally falling asleep at midnight then getting up at 5:30. I was exhausted. I was stressed. Afterwards I was sore, I had skipped lunch, and I went home to the place where my tiny demanding humans live. Tiny humans who don't seem to understand the phrases "I don't feel good." "Stop sitting on me." "Just go away." "No I'm not going to get you a glass of water you can get it yourself." I lasted a whole 3 hours of this, started making dinner, and caved. Not badly but I enjoyed some chocolate and some carbage and I said ok.. that's done lets move on.

Today I'm still tired. I still want carbage. My head is killing me. And there is freaking Pecan Pie in the cafeteria. WTF??? Seriously W T F

So onward and downward and all that. Because I am worth flipping off the pecan pie and going to the gym and meditating.. or um.. napping. It all depends on if you count snoring during meditating as actually meditating. Seriously.. how do people just sit there all calm and not fall asleep? My body and mind are totally like "Wait?? you want us to just sit here for 20 minutes??? Screw that babe I'm getting me some sleep." Also... not that normal people are proud of this but it turns out I can totally sleep sitting up! Where was this skill in college??

19 September 2018

Ok... I will start off with the positive things and then complain a lot. When I start complaining feel free to stop reading.

Great things are happening. I woke up before my alarm and I didn't try to go back to sleep! Usually I hit snooze 3 or 4 times then slowly trudge out to the barn to do morning chores. Today I got up on my own and stayed up and had enough energy to not regret burying my head into my pillow. Day 3 is off to a great start. Even better.. I accidently missed breakfast. I got so busy and I wasn't starving so when I looked up and noticed the café has closed an hour before I was ok with that. Plus it meant I got to eat my lunch for brunch. Which was delicious. Don't ask me why but I love hamburger cooked in soy sauce with cabbage or Brussel sprouts. It was last nights dinner and todays late breakfast. I will have a salad later after the gym for lunch instead.. when the café reopens for lunch.

I just feel better. 2 whole days with whole foods, no carbage, no sugar, making the decision to eat healthy and do what is best for my health and I can already feel small improvements. Today I am choosing to go to the gym again at lunchtime. I will skip tomorrow since I have a small surgery scheduled at 1 and I know exercise will probably be off the table for 1 to 2 days after that. But I know this and I will make the decision to give my body the time it needs to heal and not feel guilty about it.

Another great thing happened but I can't remember if I talked about it already. I signed up for a spin class on Monday. The instructor is also a co-worker and he spotted me coming from the gym yesterday so he stopped by my office and jokingly asked if I was ready for spin class yet. I think I shocked him when I said Sure! Sign me up. Why not? I'm deciding to live a little and try something new. Granted the instructor is trying to get his body fat under 8%, he wears toe shoes, and I think he drank kool-aide somewhere but it could still be something new that I enjoy doing even though he is known for giving people a hard time. I wonder if I can claim I'm taking the scenic route if he thinks I'm going too slow.

And now the complaining.. why do people with apparently zero nutritional knowledge decide to spread advice and start a motivational company full of well... crap. Do they not realize they are full of crap? Are they so ignorant that they are actually proud of the fact that they eat 12 apples a day. Just apples. All they eat is apples. They compared a grown women trying to lose weight to a growing child and the similar caloric recommendations and talked about how that just showed how ridiculous a 1200-1500 calorie recommendation was. Growing developing child vs.. grownass woman who sits all day trying to lose weight. Why compare those? Why? Then she ridiculed low carb, keto, and eating any dominate food group as a diet. Ok I'm done venting. It's just horrible seeing someone try to spread a love yourself, be healthy, and see healthy as beautiful message. Then talk about eating nothing but apples all day long to stay in a calorie allowance. That was me going insane driving home last night. I think I screamed WHY?? WHY??? STOOOOOOOP! a few dozen times. The guy stuck in traffic next to me seemed entertained though so that's one thing. I did make someone smile even while being loudly horrified stuck on the highway.

Today I am now making the choice to educate myself more so I don't turn into a daft moron who is proud of eating nothing but apples and in the next breath talks about the importance of getting all the nutrients your body needs.

18 September 2018

Today I'm saying thanks to random strangers on the internet. So thank you to everyone who reads my crazy and encourages me to keep being crazy. There are a few random strangers that I follow on Instagram who are inspiring. They have lost weight, work out, and seem to really send a positive message and encourage everyone around them. Today I sent one of them a random hey.. crazy lady here and I think you're great so thank you message. Ok.. It was a little better than that but I basically just said thanks for being you and sharing your message.

It encourages me to find my own message. My own purpose in life. Maybe my purpose is to give encouraging cow poop jokes. Errr.. chicken poop or goat poop.. dog poop... there's a lot of poop on a farm. Maybe it's to get over myself and put in the hard work and treat myself better and share that with others who are about to go on a similar journey. Maybe it's finding out that no matter what I'm going through it could be worse. Someone else is struggling more and going through more. If I think my life is full of poop you should meet the poop truck guy. His whole world is poop.

Today I have the chance to be something positive in someone elses life. Whether it be saying thanks, sending care packages overseas, saying good job to someone else in the gym, calling a friend to ask how they are and tell them I miss them or simply posting a picture of my family doing something crazy to make someone else smile. I can plant positive vibes around me... or I can complain and sigh about how not really horrible I have it. I choose to be happy and positive and weird.

17 September 2018

Today I have decided to get over myself. None of my problems are unique. None of them are particularly horrible. My life isn't horrible. Sure it's a little demanding and exhausting but at least I still have a pulse. My feet hurt but I can still walk. All my body issues can be cured by just not eating so much crap and moving more. The demanding part of my life where tiny humans have come to think of me as their private slave can be cured by bribing them with money to go bother someone else or by sneaking out of the house and hiding from them. Seriously... if they need something badly enough they have the ability to sniff me out wherever I hide. They're like bloodhounds looking for a hot dog.

I need to just get over myself and realize that I can handle this. I can handle not eating a cookie. I can be good to myself and find the time to exercise and be a better freaking person. 20 minutes of cardio may feel like a slow miserable death where I drown in my own sweat.. but I won't die. I need to suck it up and stop acting like a buttercup. Seriously?? When did I get so freaking soft?? When did I become so wishy washy? Today's the day... no wait.. TODAY is the day... Poop.. Next Tuesday is the day!! Gah... in 2 weeks 4 days and 19 hours that will be the day. I'm not sure where this special day is but it can kiss my rosy butt. Every day is the day. Regardless of what happens. Every day counts. Yesterday when I ate that fudge pop.. it still counted!!

And that wagon I keep supposedly falling off? Screw the wagon. I'm going to walk and eventually jog and then outrun the darn wagon. Screw you wagon!!

So yeah.. I'm getting over myself. I'm telling myself that if it isn't broken then I should shake it off. Suck it up buttercup. You get what you get so don't pitch a fit. And stick the fork in someone else because I ain't done.

I'm going to eat right, exercise, journal on my blog, post crazy crap about my butt on Instagram and I'm not going to apologize, be ashamed, or hide my crazy. Because I am who I am and I need to get over myself and accept that.

12 September 2018

Weigh-in: 213.0 lb lost so far: 2.8 lb still to go: 73.0 lb Diet followed reasonably well
   (1 comment) on diet DairyFarmersWife's own diet   gaining 0.6 lb a week

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