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Another musing entry....or a vent. I got a realization yesterday from a client.
Some people are 'married' to their illnesses. It's not something they have, it's who they are.
The backstory: This woman is just a couple of years older than I am. She has a history of being 'accident prone'. Her back and neck are seriously screwed up from repeated injuries that she blames on her 'natural clumsiness'. She also has recited a litany of family health problems that are 'genetic'. She and her husband are both retired, but not old enough for Medicare, so they have private insurance with a high deductible. Almost every visit, she complains about this or that test that costs a fortune, and they haven't met the deductible yet, so she has to pay out of pocket. She's also had 2 mini-strokes.
Anyway, yesterday she comes in, and the first thing out of her mouth is, "OMG I've been SO sick!" She went out of town for a family wedding, and after attending the welcome dinner, started feeling sick. Spent the entire weekend in the bathroom or bed. So, of course, when she came home, she goes to the doctor, who orders a whole battery of tests...including bloodwork, cat scans of heart and brain (???), MRI. He reports (her words) "Calcium around her heart".
Now, granted, this lady is not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but her eyes glazed over when I tried to explain the difference between 'calcification' and actual calcium. *sigh*
The conversation then veered to auto-immune diseases. Her doctor suggested that part of her problems were most likely related to one, but it would take "many tests" ($$$$$) to figure out which one. She was almost gleeful when she told him, "Oh, if it's autoimmune, I probably DO have it because my whole family has one or another!"
Since I've been studying the diet related effects on overall health, I said to her, "What if I told you you could save tons of money, and possibly ditch some of the medications, just by cutting out wheat and sugar?"
Blank stare. And then she starts defending each any every medication. "Oh, but I need this because of cholesterol, and I need that because of BP, and this one is to prevent yadda yadda yadda.."
Again, I said, but if you lose the wheat and sugar, chances are those things will lessen and possibly correct themselves. She just laughed and said, "I don't even know what has wheat in it!"
I then realized I was dealing with someone who is either a special kind of stupid, or someone who is terrified of being well. So, I just let it go.
*sigh*
Diet Calendar Entries for 02 July 2016:
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618 kcal
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Fat: 45.82g | Prot: 35.68g | Carb: 21.59g.
Breakfast: Boiled Egg, Half and Half Cream, Coffee (Brewed From Grounds), Pyure Stevia Sweetener. Dinner: Low-carb Deluxe Pizza. more...
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2785 kcal
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Activities & Exercise:
Cooking - 45 minutes, Reading - 30 minutes, Cleaning - 25 minutes, Washing Dishes - 45 minutes, Watching TV/Computer - 5 hours, Sleeping - 8 hours, Resting - 8 hours and 35 minutes. more...
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1 to 20 of 25
 Comments
Again, what we think about most, we become. Mskestrela, I am thankful you are on here :)
02 Jul 16 by member: Sugar Waffle
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Thank you, Sugar. I'm thankful to be here! <3
02 Jul 16 by member: mskestrela
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Perhaps she is terrified of being well? You could be on to something, there. Often times, people hold on to some strange things for comfort. Maybe her sickness is the one thing she chooses to hold on for comfort?
That said, it's amazing how well the body responds when one cuts out sugar. Have a great holiday weekend!
02 Jul 16 by member: TurtleMom23
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Oh, boyyyyy... I go through the same thing with a close family member...smh. *sigh* I tried to convince her that LCHF would save her life. I shared my lab results with her (all greatly improved markers. I practically tied her down trying to make her watch dietdoctor.com with me. Idk if she doesn't get that what we eat REALLY DOES effect our heath, or just actually wants to try to live off of pity (Lord forgive me. Love her to pieces!). Just when I thought I had her convinced once, she mentioned the "diet" to her dr. Her dr said, "You'll be dead in a year if you follow that advise." So... that was DEFINITELY the end of that. SMH Now, I just sit here, listen to her complain, and watch her slowly kill herself. *sigh*
02 Jul 16 by member: Caterpillar2Butterfly
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We should never give up on anyone! We may just be the one who will inspire someone else to become the best version of themselves.
02 Jul 16 by member: Sugar Waffle
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You tried, and I give you credit. I thought that the HFLC IF diet sounded crazy in the beginning and resisted the whole idea. But after watching some YouTube videos and doing some research I'm a convert. I've only been off sugar and flour for about a week, but I feel so much better. I'm not as sluggish or bloated so this is great and I've actually already seen a small weight drop. If your client is enjoying her misery you probably can't do anything but listen. I do think it's going to take some of the medical and diet professionals quite awhile to get on board. It goes against pretty much everything we've all been taught every the past 50 years or so.
02 Jul 16 by member: PhillySue
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@TurtleMom I know for a fact that there are some people that thrive on the attention that being sick gets them. There is actually a psychological syndrome called Munchausen's.
02 Jul 16 by member: mskestrela
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@C2B, it's hard enough when it's someone I only see every 6 weeks...I can't imagine dealing with that with a family member. I just have to remind myself that I can't change anyone else, I can only change how I react to them. So, while her color was processing, I took myself outside and repeated my mantra: She's doing the best she can, with what she's got, from where she is. When I went back inside, I was able to change the subject, and when she left, I hugged her and said, sincerely, "I hope your tests come out ok".
02 Jul 16 by member: mskestrela
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Sugar, you're right, to an extent. But, ultimately, all you can do is plant the seed. And then let it go. If it grows, great. If it doesn't, it's not because we didn't try.
02 Jul 16 by member: mskestrela
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@PhillySue Good for you! The key is to DO the research, and make up your own mind. I'm sorry to say that this woman probably isn't smart enough to understand anything she researched. Heck, she doesn't even know what common foods have wheat in them! She looked shocked when I told her that flour is ground wheat. As for you, I think you'll continue to be surprised at the changes that dropping wheat and sugar will make. I turned 60 this year, and I thought that all the aches and pains were just part of getting older. NOPE! It took about 2 months, but they're all gone! Chronic pain in my hip for 5+ years..gone!
02 Jul 16 by member: mskestrela
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Kes, you just described my mother, my advice, never ask my mother how she is doing, she will tell you in excruciating detail. I had hoped she would follow my lead, after repeated loud disagreements she did finally read the book...The Obesity Code...she never told me she read it, when I shared my dip below the 200 lb mark, she said, Well good for you, but I can't do all of that stuff that you do because I have this condition, that condition, I have to take this pill and that injection......She would not need all of those medications if she would just do three simple things. Stop eating wheat and sugar, stop eating constantly, stop injecting 200 units of insulin daily. She could be feeling 100% better and need fewer medications in less than 30 days. All I can figure is she likes feeling the way she does or she would do something about it.
02 Jul 16 by member: debrafrederick
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Wow! I'm so happy for you. I have pain in my back, hip and feet. Don't get me wrong, I knew I was making things worse with my ever escalating weight but I'll look forward to seeing things get better. Having my feet and ankles hurt is like living with a constant toothache.
02 Jul 16 by member: PhillySue
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@Debra, I know how frustrating that has to be for you! People do tend to defend the status quo, even in light of information. It's called cognitive dissonance, and it usually takes a real shake-up of some sort to get past it. I worked with a lady that kept her insulin in the fridge at work. I mentioned what I was doing, and how it can actually eliminate diabetes. She looked interested...until I got to the part where pasta and bread are no-nos. She got mad! She said, "I'm Italian! There's no way in hell I'll ever stop eating pasta!" All I could do was shrug and walk away. Mind you, this is a woman who has gone through every diet in the book (except lchf), is constantly complaining about her weight, has had lipo and a tummy tuck, but won't give up her freaking pasta. *sigh*
02 Jul 16 by member: mskestrela
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@PhillySue, thank you! Hang in there with HFLC, and I think you'll see changes like I did. Your energy levels will improve, too. I'm on my feet all day at work, and I have mild scoliosis, so I know your pain. LCHF is the most anti-inflammatory diet there is.
02 Jul 16 by member: mskestrela
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Maybe if she hears it enough times, she'll take it to heart. Her hairdresser suggests she quit sugar, her cousin suggests she quit sugar, the pharmacy tech asked her about quitting sugar, the cashier at CUB announces she feels great since quitting sugar. Why the sam heck her doctor doesn't suggest she quit sugar is beyond me. Honestly, they bear some responsibility in this. My nursing home is filled with demented people who trusted their doctors.
02 Jul 16 by member: LadyinDenim
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@Lady, Doctors have a stake in keeping their patients just well enough to function. If you're healthy, they lose money. And when they fail to keep you functioning, they get to pass you off to a colleague who will "manage" their new symptoms.
I always hope that information I share will help someone. I just quit having a stake in whether it does or not. It's up to the laws of the Universe, so I let it go.
02 Jul 16 by member: mskestrela
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02 Jul 16 by member: LadyinDenim
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Agreed, msk, that's all we can do. I think to some people, it's just not worth giving up certain things. We all have priorities. Many people have asked me what I'm doing. When I tell them it's... "Well, I can't give up my bread, or I can't live without this/that." Hell, some of them ain't gonna live long WITH it either...smh. I often wonder that even if their dr.'s would make them well aware and gave them a do/do not eat list, how many would actually follow it. All of that sh#t has the same affect on the brain as drugs, and we all know how hard drugs are to let go. Oh well, to each his own priorities.
02 Jul 16 by member: Caterpillar2Butterfly
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You can take a horse to water but you can't make it drink.
02 Jul 16 by member: Doobrie
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It's really a miracle that any of us came to this place where we are willing to be healed.
02 Jul 16 by member: LadyinDenim
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