2ManyCurves's Journal, 20 December 2014

Today, I will go to a Zumba class. And, I will do my best not to fall asleep while mid-cha-cha.

I'm not even very far along but it seems this pregnancy has triggered an onset of narcolepsy that I didn't even know I had. I am completely unable to watch a movie without falling asleep 15 minutes in. I wish I could brag about how good I've been on making food selections. Most of the time I am battling nausea and I've unfortunately started grabbing food in hopes that will quell it: crackers, sprite, pretzels....no nutritional value. It usually doesn't and sometimes makes it worse. Dear willpower, please come back to me soon. The holidays are hard enough with family and friends shoving food in your face from every direction. Since when did I ever like Kentucky Fried Chicken mashed potatoes and gravy??? I seriously could have eaten four pints of it the other day when I went in to purchase a gift card for my grandmother. I only ate one small side, but only because I took it with me to go and couldn't have went back for seconds. I hate buying gift cards. They're just so impersonal. I much rather personally select a gift that is unexpected to give. I know Christmas isn't all about the presents. But, I do very much enjoy watching people open gifts from me. I could come up with nothing for grandma and my brother and mother insisted I should get her a gift card from her favorite restaurant. So, I ventured into a KFC and was instantly hypnotized with the draw of mashed potatoes and gravy. Foods I didn't even like when I was at my highest weight. So, I've eaten poorly and I was roped into buying a gift that I really am not happy with. I need to find her something to open that reflects personality. Maybe an AED for when I announce that I'm pregnant. I can use it on my parents too. It can be the gift that keeps on giving.

So, yeah...that. I still haven't found a good way to break it to my teenagers, parents or anyone else. I found the courage to tell my boss Monday. That was a hysterical feat. He apparently thought I was announcing my resignation when I closed the door to his office behind me.

I get the chance to do it right this time. When I raised my boy as a single mom the first thirteen years of his life, holidays were split where he would have to go visit his father and I couldn't put him in T-ball because it interfered with Court-Ordered visitation and the father refused to accommodate his extracurricular activities. It was always a fight. Even had to go to Court once to get an order to permit my son to play football. I don't miss that stuff. And, let's face it....I just never had that family unit raising a child with a mom and dad in the home. Husband is happy about the pregnancy. From all accounts, he was high-fiving people at work and proclaiming that he's still got it within a day of the news. My husband split custody of his daughter too until she was 11 at which time he got sole custody when her biological mom fell off the radar due to heroine mostly. So, this mom and dad under the same roof, not having to split holidays and birthdays, stuff is going to be a first for us both.

I'm going to need a jogging stroller.