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Yesterday was such a wonderful day! And no, I'm not being sarcastic! lol. The wheather was beautiful and I was energized practically the entire day. About 20 min after I got up I did the dishes, gave Weasely a bath, and updated our checking account. Then I got dressed. Now, that last part doesn't really sound like a big deal, right? Big whoop, you got dressed. For me it is a big deal. I usually stay in my pj's all day unless I have to go outside for errands or something. I don't know why. Well...that's not really true. I like being in pj's cause they are comfortable and they hide how big I really am. It's like being in a mumu without actually have to buy one. I'm trying to get out of that mindset and it's not easy. I just don't like people seeing how big I really am. I decided last week that I needed to work on my self esteem and self worth just as much as getting healthy. Step one is to get dressed every day. doesn't sound like much, but for me it's a big step. Get dressed, brush my hair...all that jazz that I normally don't do unless I have to get up and run around for a bit. Not a pretty image I know.
I have started to notice some postivie things though. There are two single straight guys in our group, Cory and BT. And when they were over here on Sunday I caught them both checking out my ass. lol!!! That's when I realized something...I now HAVE an ass!! It's not just a flat (albeit bumpy) board back there anymore. HURRAY!! And, since I've started getting dressed and such everyday, it seems to have renewed Michael's interest in me too. Not just bedroom stuff (although being over that particular dry spot is nice) but he's flirting with me again, and all that stuff that you do when you're first dating and stuff. I'm not gonna question it. I'm just gonna accept it! And, that is helping to boost my self esteem and such because my husband finds me disierable (sp?) again. Baby steps.....it's all about the baby steps.
It also doesn't hurt that that I'm still riding a bit high from grandpa telling me how great I looked on Tuesday!! lol
Have a good day everyone!
Diet Calendar Entry for 22 September 2011:
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1321 kcal
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Fat: 48.38g | Prot: 69.44g | Carb: 147.28g.
Breakfast: pretzels honey wheat. Lunch: mayo, catsup, cheddar, Cheddar Flavor Party Mix. Dinner: ramen noodles, Asian BBQ Sauce, Chicken Tenderloins. Snacks/Other: Baker's Treat Swiss Rolls - 12 ct. more...
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