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Yesterday was a good day. I'm glad I went to OA and stayed true to my plan. I know I'm not perfect and I don't really eat the way others do/suppose to, but it works for me. I cannot be one that writes down everything and weighs everything and keep a strict 3 meal a day routine. That is just the way I am and it works for me. I will keep Low Carb and within portion control, but that is it! I will take it one day at a time and sometimes one moment at a time. I will keep journaling on the computer and also in a notebook. I am going to try to fit in meditation outside in nature at least a few moments a day and maybe start a tai chi or yoga program. Right now it is difficult for me to do much more, I work full time and take care of my mother full time (yes she comes to work with me!) So some of my down time is just chilling. I just have to keep my chilling time away from adding non low carb food and drink and not allowing the 'poor me' pitty parties to enter into my life.
At OA meeting yesterday it was a day to pick a word out of a basket that we should concentrate on for the year. We don't get to see the word before we get it. My word is HOPE. At first I wasn't sure what / why this word 'choose' me except that I was almost at the point where I was giving up HOPE. So maybe that is why? At the end of the meeting a nice gentleman came up to me, touched my shoulder and said, "Joyce I want you to have HOPE" and gave me a hug. That was the most touching moment I have had in a long time. When I got home I read the thought for the day in the "For Today" little white book from OA. Last year I haven't been reading it daily but I vowed to start this year. For January 3 it was; "Strong hope is a much greater stimulant of life than any single realized joy could be. " quote by Friedrich Nietzsche. It went on to say, " Compulsive overeaters recovering in OA have reason to believe in the power of hope. It is the saving grace of our illness, a life-sustaining force that motivates us to keep going. Hope brought me to Over-eaters Anonymous. I needed to believe that I had within me the power to change, to grow.
The joy of life today is in the constant flowering of hope. A problem is solved and immediately there is hope that an even tougher one will go the same way. When I most despair of finding a solution, the answer appears.
FOR TODAY: There is powerful hope in admitting defeat, in giving up my mad exertions to control situations that are not mine to control."
Just amazing! I will keep this word HOPE with me every day and when I feel I"m loosing it, I will read January 3 and realize Hope is there for me :-)
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