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Weight History
showing entries 16 to 20 of 912
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28 August 2023
I might have been a little too enthusiastic with starting this journey with everything else that is going on in my life. I got rid of #1 over the weekend. Granted it's only temporarily as she goes back to college and she's only an hour away but it's one less human I have to keep alive during the week. She's already ignoring my texts so she should be good to go until a holiday comes.
The boys start school next week because we seem to be on a different schedule than the rest of the U.S. This week is full of soccer practices and orientations. Oh and interviews because the universe decided this should be the time that I add another person to my team at work. I will not stress eat. I will not stress eat. I already did that last week. Plus I got so busy I forgot to journal. I may have to hit the reset button.. again. I'm going to see what the weigh in damage looks like on Wednesday. Right now It's not so great.. If I'm going to lose weight then I'm going from my highest number on my latest day. I should probably just ride the roller coaster but who wants to do that?
Today I will stay on track and get healthy because..
- The boyfriend keeps beating my calorie burn at the gym. I ALMOST got him today and he beat me by 5 measly calories. I will beat his number some day. I may not be able to move tomorrow because I was trying to beat his calorie burn today. He didn't even look like he was trying. It's fine.. I'm not competitive in the least. Nope not me.
- Thigh saddles. I think I'm developing thigh saddles. At least that is what I'm calling them. I've always had a thigh dent. Now my thighs are getting wider above the dent. My weight might be staying consistent but my body is getting more comfortable with it. I'm becoming the dent in the couch. I don't want to be the dent in the couch. I want to be the new couch that no one can get comfy on because it's so hard. Don't be a couch dent.
- Because I found an Instagram account that told me to go 90 days and dedicate those 90 days to me. Take a break from every other thing in life and concentrate on me. It also gave me a list of things like meditate, get 7k steps a day, eat real food, focus on the good things that you will feed yourself vs what you wont let yourself have.. It seemed smart. I'm going to try it. Its not anything new. I'd not anything special. I just read the right thing at the right time. Consider today Day 1 of the random Instagram challenge I found.
(2 comments)
23 August 2023
Today is being a challenge. I didn't want to wake up. I found a good book that I've been reading before bed so I've been staying up late because just like with food sometimes I just can't stop. I lost 30 minutes in the shower. I may have fallen asleep. I didn't drown standing up so that's a plus I suppose. Mentally I think I'm still asleep. The 3 whys may seem a bit. meh.. but I did them.
Today's 3 Whys:
1. Someone once mentioned skinny privilege. Apparently skinny people are treated differently than someone who is overweight. I'm not surprised but I'm curious of what this includes.
2. Because everything on my body hurts right now from gardening. Simple gardening should not leave me unable to touch the ground for 3 days afterwards.
3. Because I'm tired and I said so.
(2 comments)
22 August 2023
Knock knock. Whose there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the lake I'm drowning. This joke has been going through my head for the last 2 days. The summer seems to have ended and I am now in the rush of getting everyone ready for the fall. #1 is getting ready to return to college. This means shopping, lots of shopping, and more college loans that make me sick to my stomach. #2 is getting ready for middle school and soccer. This means new cleats because nothing fits for more than 6 months and meeting after meeting after meeting with the school because in their minds 6th grade is a monumental event. It's not.. so now I'm annoyed. And #3 is being #3. He's my shadow that I almost trip over any time I turn around. He's nervous and disappointed to be returning to school. His birthday is this weekend. He's excited about that. He's still upset I sent him for swim lessons over the summer. It goes on.. so now I'm exhausted and wishing this old house had a closet I could hide in. Because of this and the Crumble Cookies #1 brought home after her latest shopping list I am struggling. ALOT. I don't do well with stress, being tired, or financial challenges. So excuse the lack of 3 whys yesterday. I was too tempted to find a corner to suck my thumb and rock myself in.
If that wasn't enough my gardening left a baby bunny homeless. I apologized many many many times. I thought the burrow was old. What rabbit in her right mind is having babies right now? I think I have slutty bunnies in my yard. One of the babies was left behind and didn't leave. Given me and my kids we have adopted it and now I'm bottle feeding a baby bunny. His/Her name is either thumper, jerkface, Jack, Lil Sh#&, F@cker, or Snack Pack. Bottle feeding was a little challenging and #1 was helping and plans on naming it. My 19 yr old has a very colorful mouth.
Today's 3 whys:
1. Because I feel better, stronger, and more capable of dealing with life when I treat my body well and don't eat Crumble Cookies.
2. Because of soccer moms. Personally they terrify me. They run around in their spandex pants, with yeti cups and aviator sunglasses. They kind of remind me of drill sergeants. They seem to yell encouraging things aggressively and have a troop of tiny humans with them that they can control with glares. I run a pirate ship that is under a constant state of mutiny and I think the captain has been drinking. I don't know why but I think being in better shape would help me deal with these people. I could at least live confidently knowing I can do more pushups than them.
3. Because I'm tired of being exhausted. I equal less mass to move with more energy. Hopefully this is true. If it's not don't tell me.
(7 comments)
20 August 2023
Getting a late start this morning. I did yard work for over 6 hours yesterday. Not my favorite thing to do but it looks sooooo much better. It's also allowing me to shrink one of the gardens. I don't know what the woman did who lived here before me but I do not have the time to keep up with all the gardens around this house. Half of them look so overgrown that they might as well be grass because they are turning into grass. I think she had actual garden gnomes or she was the green thumb version of Cinderella. I am not that.. I am a dairy farmers wife who could kill plants while trying to save them. I think I loved them too much..
Today's 3 Whys:
1. Because I don't like looking like those butt cutouts. Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Once upon a time people had wooden cutouts of butts that they would put out as a haha.. It was always a round butt. Half the time I think granny panties were involved. It may have been a plan to keep people from looking at their home or when their actual butt was out there people were so used to it they stopped looking. I don't know. I don't want to be a giant butt in my front yard trying to find the flowers that are being suffocated by weeds.
2. Because my favorite shorts are stuggling to make it through the summer. They have a rip starting to go up one thigh, they are wearing thin where my thighs rub, new holes that weren't part of the original design are appearing. They may make it to the end of the summer but I doubt it. I don't want to buy any more shorts in a size 16 for as long as I live. I'm going to do this. I'm going to shrink. The size 16 will not be a thing by the beginning of next spring. I refuse to accept this reality. I might be dillusional but I refuse to accept that I have to keep buying the current size that I am in. I may end up naked with only one pair of pants to my name but.. I just refuse.
3. Because I'm feeling good. I've had a couple slips in the week and yes I've had a mini cupcake or 2 but I feel better not eating like crap. I would have only been able to do half the stuff I did yesterday if I hadn't started to get my ducks in a row on Monday. I feel positive. I feel more energetic. I don't feel any lighter but that will come with time. I'm going to keep this good feeling going.
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19 August 2023
I think I'm developing journal envy. Yesterday after journaling my 3 whys I took a break and went through everyone who was featured or following me. I ran across a few people who had succeeded in going from obese to hello six pack. Maybe I'm not giving myself enough credit but I cannot believe that I would ever get to that level. Maybe once I lose the weight I will set my sights on a higher goal. Right now I just want my pants to fit and I want to be able to not feel like I'm dying after taking the dog for a walk. We're both out of shape so it works. He has a rod in his leg from where he broke it as a puppy and I'm old so we both have an excuse. If either of us pushes it too far the other lays down on the sidewalk and refuses to move until we have had a 5 minute break. We will both get there though. Slow as a herd of turtles but we will get there.
Today's 3 Whys:
1. Because I want to see how much I would have to lose before the BF would say something. We've been together for 4 years now. He's been with me since I was 205 lbs. I double checked and yes I was that heavy on our first date. He didn't say a word when I put on 15 lbs. He is super supportive. He bought me a new elliptical when mine broke. He was letting me be his guest at the gym until I bought my own pass. He meets me at the gym at least 2 days a week so we can workout together instead of going out to lunch. He's amazing and I want to be better with him. Not for him.. with him. He's already made progress. I have not.
2. Because I want to wear the cute clothes. I keep getting Shein ads on all my stuff and the tops are adorable. None of them come in my size. I looked and the things that come in my size range I was less than thrilled with. Either they are too short and would show my front butt or they just weren't cute. I found a couple so I ordered from there for the first time. My daughter orders adorable clothes from there all the time. She's a small. She doesn't think anything that I think is adorable. I have none of the adorable tops in my life.
3. Because of front butts. I think its also known as the foopa? I could be completely wrong. Quite frankly I don't care what a foopa is. I'm not even sure if I'm spelling that right. It's been a front butt to me for as long as I've noticed them. It's on the front under the muffin top. It's the second butt that's on the front. I hate it. I know mine isn't as bad as it could be. I feel for other women who have it worse. I do not like mine. I hide it. It's a hidden secret that no one is allowed to see. Until I have to reach something on the top shelf. Then it comes out in all it's glory. A friend of mine would lecture me and tell me it's natural.. I had 3 kids.. blah blah blah. It may never go away completely but.. it can be less noticable. I want to shrink my front butt. If anyone knows how to do that please let me know.
(1 comment)
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