Yearofhealth2023's Journal, 25 May 2024

That sounds like a real cookie monster day, GF. LOL. I love cookies. I have some foods that speak to me and cookies are in the top 5. Ice cream is too. Crunchy snacks, like Lays.  

You are not alone YOH. Some of these go to behaviours are so ingrained given that at least in my case it has been a lifelong thing. Hoping it won't always be such a battle. 

Morticia if im being totally transparent it was 1200 calories first day and 400 more second day all within 24 hours then i threw the rest away. That translates into 8 cookies. 8. I would rather have had a pint of ice cream for all those calories but i somehow thought i could buy 16 cookies (from bakery in bakery box could not just buy a couple that’s how they were packaged). Anyway i thought i could buy 16 cookies. Have no more than 2 leave them for hubs for a treat and he would throw the rest out. Nope. Ate one, then one more, then one more. Then thought about it and thought well i will skip dinner. Not my brightest bulb moment in terms of trying to get my LDL down. 

Anni-im guessing after using food as a child as a control measure in my life (read hoarding chocolate in my dresser) and now in my 6th decade it’s not very likely. I have gone years and years and been totally healthy and then slipped up for years. Usually never more than 15-20 pounds till i turned 50 and i was introduced to my old friend prednisone for the next 8 years. 

Wow YOH. In a strange way we are sisters. I too had stashes of chocolate hidden in my bedroom as a child. Not sure what exactly led to this behaviour but it started early on. I know now that there is no such thing as "one" for me so avoidance is my best strategy. My goddaughter brought me a box of chocolate from my ancestral homeland when she was here. I looked at them and managed to not crack that box open. My neighbour had her 96th birthday a few days ago, so I regifted that box to her. Phew. So glad I did as with the wee bit of a rollercoaster of emotions I've been on the past few days they would have been snorfed in no time. 

I hate when that happens! The mind is a powerful thing and it's hard to break away from old ways! Give yourself some grace and move forward. Would it help if you plan your food day on the day it closes or will your brain just go on overload? I struggle too. I eat really healthy for about 2-3 weeks and then I start telling myself a piece of chocolate is ok, or one cookie won't hurt etc. before you know it I've had 0 baby carrots and 5 cookies. It sucks! I started prepping veggies snack bags and that has helped a bit. I feel your emotions..Don't let it get you down!💜💜🙏🙏💜💜 

Anni mine started with abuse as a child. I have subsequently learned that my behavior for the type of abuse i was living with is common among some other unacceptable things. I didnt eat the chocolate in my room as a child i just hoarded it. When i became homeless is when my addiction started. So i have a really good understanding of the psychology behind my food issues i just dont have a cure. 

Let‘s just say that 1000 cals of cookies is way better than $1000 of cookies. 🍪🍪🍪 

Diana it probably will not make a difference. It will just be another day to mark off in sad observation of the change that is the new way of life. I have been thru it before. I hope to not go thru it again. I am also the cookies win over carrots girl which is why i cannot have them in the house. And clearly I CANNOT have them in the house😂. Im not down just annoyed. If i am going to waste calories it should have been on something i truly truly love. Sigh. Just as well. Xoxo my love. 

Sk.17 ain’t that the truth💸💳 

Make homemade SF Low carb cookies! There’s tons of easy recipes on YouTube, even ones you cook for 1 minute in the microwave! Nice the house was purchased all cash! Way less hiccups that way. 

Storms, i know which is what makes it even more appalling. Ugggg. Yes, cash does make everything faster and easier. 21 day close. We have an old El Camino that we are going to have to find a rental place for and a utility trailer that we’re dont want to have to get rid of but dont have room for in our present house (4 cars one truck here already—hubs has a muscle car hobby takes up so much space). 

Wow I didn’t realize that I turned to sugar until I read your post, it is a monster I need serious help! I actually reward myself with sugar! ! 

😂😂😂. Well glad my addiction gave you insight WLucretia😂. Seriously tho it is good to know what causes some of our way of eating and unhealthy habits. 

Don't be so hard on yourself YOH, so you binged on cookies; but you got up in the morning & got back on plan. Everything in moderation, even binges. My two trigger foods are ice cream & potato chips. I can't have them in the house. But every once in a great while, I'll buy a big bag of my favorite chips, or a couple of pints of ice cream and have myself a party. Then I'm good for about 6 or 9 months. Just knowing I can do that sometimes helps me stay on the straight & narrow the majority of the time. You're doing great & looking fantastic; you will never be perfect. (((HUGS))) 

Shirfleur i love you mama🥰. Your trigger foods and mine are the same. Im glad the scale didnt go up. Perfection is boring anyway but im reminding myself that i need to keep getting my cholesterol down and that was not the best idea although i like your idea of once or twice a year having myself a lil party. I do feel great😜 

I fully understand. Similar to an alcoholic, life events can set off food binges, even minor ones. I should know; I experienced one that resulted in me being 137 lbs overweight. I had to acknowledge this and strive for food sobriety, eliminating anything that could trigger my cravings for sweets and carbs. The emotional turmoil you're enduring is intense. My deepest condolences for the loss you're experiencing. Grieving is a challenging process, and the memories of your MIL and her home are undoubtedly cherished and significant to you. I'm relieved to know you're here, receiving some of the support you need during this immensely tough period. 

Yearofhealth2023, not adding meals or extras is a fault of mine too. I was doing so good on Sunday, and then my wife and I were asked to go to Cracker Barrel last night. Actually, the meal was probably not that bad, by itself. But, the corn bread, butter, and a mandatory cupcake from a young girl we know was too much of an addition. So, last night was not added. Probably not over 1500-1700 calories, but in addition to breakfast and lunch, it was in the 2500 calorie range. I should go back and add it, but,..... :)  

Bionici THE MANDATORY CUPCAKE😂😂😂 i hate when that happens. You know, you are required to eat something yummy but not great for the tummy😂. Normally i do log the good the bad and the ugly but right now life is a bit hectic and not my normal routine between what’s going on with estate and all that has entailed and emptying 3 buildings out and SIL ending up in hospital with auditory hallucinations and of course the normal day to day things my routine got messed up. Im guessing by end of June all will be settled back into normal routine and having my iPad with me when eating which is when i put my food in (as i eat it). I dont use my phone for FS so thats part of the deal for me. Was just reading about Cracker Barrel in the news yesterday. They reduced their dividends by 80% due to poor profits. Ive never been in one but love the name.